


Simon's (Not-So) Extraordinary Playlist

by bazzledazzlewriting



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Breakups, Confessions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Love songs, M/M, OC Cameos, Oblivious Simon, POV Alternating, Pining, Slow Burn, Some angst, emo Baz, expressing emotions through song, spells, zoey's extrordinary playlist au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazzledazzlewriting/pseuds/bazzledazzlewriting
Summary: Simon gets into a fight with Agatha and accidentally uses a spell that's supposed to force her to tell him how she feels. Instead, she tells him through song, seeming to have no idea that she's singing Taylor Swift to him.And apparently that isn't the extent of Simon's new ability. Now everyone's singing to him, especially Baz, who seems to have a lot on his mind.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce/Micah Cordero, Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 40
Kudos: 142





	1. Hope It Gives You Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a fanfiction idea I had based on the TV show "Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist." It's a great show and I highly recommend watching it, but I felt that it would be fun to play with the idea of the show and have Baz singing various love songs to an oblivious Simon. I'm actually creating a playlist of all the songs I use throughout this fic you can find [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/668Ng0JQWQ1j4BhckFYAcx?si=5FSInhVNRtOuOeHonr4W_A)
> 
> Songs in this Chapter: 
> 
> We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together // Taylor Swift  
> Summer Nights // Grease  
> Eleanor Rigby // The Beatles  
> Gives You Hell // The All-American Rejects

SIMON

Agatha’s eyes meet mine, her jaw set with a certain determination. She straightens her back, blinking at me with her brown eyes, her mind set. It’s kind of scary. Neither me nor Agatha have been very confrontational throughout the entirety of our relationship. Maybe that’s why we lasted for so long. We never wanted to address our problems. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there’s the strumming of guitar chords. My thoughts catch on it, drifting away from Agatha as I look around, trying to pinpoint who’s playing. It’s pretty early in the morning for music, so I can’t imagine why someone would be playing the guitar. Honestly, Watford doesn’t even have a guitar club and it’s highly unlikely that they’d start now. I continue to search, scanning the other students, but I can’t find the source. 

I turn back to Agatha, opening my mouth to say something to her, but she beats me to it. 

“ _ I remember when we broke up the first time _

_ Saying ‘This is it, I’ve had enough,’ ‘cause like  _

_ We hadn’t seen each other in a month when you said you needed space.”  _

It takes me a moment longer than I’d like to admit to realize that she’s singing. I laugh nervously, stepping closer to her. 

“Aggie?” She doesn’t hear me. She doesn’t even skip a beat. 

_ “Ooh, we called it off again last night  _

_ But ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you _

_ We are never ever ever getting back together,  _

_ We are never ever ever getting back together,  _

_ You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me  _

_ But we are never ever ever ever getting back together _ .”

Agatha’s doing big, bold hand gestures. It feels like she’s yelling at me, trying to tell me something, but I still don’t know why she’s singing it at me. I also don’t understand why the hell she’s singing Taylor Swift, of all things. Sure, Agatha likes pop music, but she isn’t really a fan of Taylor Swift. She’s very particular about who she listens to. 

I look around, trying to see if anyone else is gawking at us like I am at Agatha. Surely they must be. It’s not every day you see a couple arguing through song. To my surprise, everyone seems to be oblivious to it. Nobody even spares us a glance. 

What. The.  _ Fuck _ . 

_ “We are never ever ever getting back together _

_ We are never ever ever getting back together _

_ You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me _

_ But we are never ever ever ever getting back together.”  _

The song ends, leaving Agatha staring at me with the same defiant stance, as if she didn’t move at all. I scrunch my brow at her, wondering if I just imagined the whole thing. Maybe I hit my head a little too hard on the last mission for the Mage. 

“‘ **_The heart wants what the heart wants_ ** ’? Seriously Simon? I can’t believe you tried to use a spell on me!” 

“Sorry I—“ I don’t even know what to say. I’m trying to process everything that happened. 

“Listen, Si. You don’t need to put me under a spell. I’m telling you this as your friend. We don’t work together. You and me... it’s not what I want. It’s not because of Baz or anything like that. We just don’t work together.” 

“We’re never, ever getting back together,” I mumble, my eyes wide. Agatha bites her lip. 

“I’m sorry, Simon. I just don’t want to be your endgame.” 

* * *

I assumed that when I went to breakfast, everything would blow over and I would forget all about the singing as I stuffed scones in my face as Penny watched with disgust. And in fact, she was sitting at our usual table with a plate of scones at her side when I walked into the room. I grin, knowing I could always count on her, as a friend and to get me breakfast when I was running a little late. 

I walked to the table, trying to shake my run-in with Agatha out of my head, focusing on the scones. But of course I couldn’t even make it to my plate of hot scones without all hell breaking loose, because the universe seems to hate me. A noise from behind me catches my ear and a feeling of dread settles over me as I recognize it as something that isn’t the usual morning chit chat. The dining hall seemed to quiet down as staccato piano notes ring out through the hall. 

A girl stands up on the table, a big wide dopey grin on her freckled face and golden hair that billows out around her as she spins in a circle. 

“ _ Summer loving had me a blast _ ,” she sings, her cheeks burning with a blush. From across the room, another girl with short black hair and thick eyeliner stands up as well. 

“ _ Summer loving happened so fast, _ ” the other girl sings, Smiling at the freckled girl. She twirls a golden curl in her hand, blinking flirtatiously at the dark haired girl. 

“ _ I met a girl, crazy for me.”  _

“ _ I met a girl cute as can be.”  _

“ _ Summer days drifting away to oh oh _

_ The summer nights,” _ they sing together, their voices harmonizing. Then, the strangest thing happens. The people sitting around the two of them start to sing too. 

“ _ Tell me more, tell me more _

_ Did you get very far _

_ Tell me more, tell me more _

_ Like, does she have a car?”  _

My eyes widen. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I’m hoping it’s April Fools or something and these sixth year girls are pulling some sort of prank on me. School at Watford is weird, considering we have magic and all, but it’s never  _ this  _ weird, with choreographed dance numbers from a 70’s musical. It must be one of those dance mobs that people do for ungodly reasons. Why else would all these people be singing and dancing?

I speed walk over to me and Pen’s table, trying to avert eye contact with the two girls who apparently had an impressive first date or something, I honestly have no idea. 

I collapse down at the table next to Penny, looking at her with wide eyes. 

“You good Si?” Penny asks, shoving the scones my way. I push them aside, leaning over the table. 

“Do you hear them?” Penny furrows her brow. The girls were still singing, talking about some sort of arcade or something I honestly have no idea. 

“What?”

“Them!” I say, pointing to the table of sixth year girls dancing and singing. Penny rolls her eyes, huffing. 

“I know. They’ve been giggling all morning. Something about a date with some girl.” I run my hands through my hair, blowing out a breath of air. 

“But are they singing a song from Grease?” Penny gives me a concerned look. 

“No— why would they be singing? And Grease of all things? How do you even know Grease?” I shake my hand dismissively, looking back over at the table of girls singing and dancing. 

“So they’re not singing? Or dancing?”

“Simon, they're just talking? What’s gotten into you?” I take a deep breath, pursing my lips. 

“I hear them singing. With choreography. I think something is wrong.” 

* * *

It’s been nonstop all day. I’ve had to listen to a teacher sing about her breakup in front of the class, hear some kid sulking in the bathroom about some hardship he’s having with a friend, and witnessed someone confess their feelings through song without the other person even realizing it. 

It’s been a weird day to say the least, and Penny still doesn’t seem to understand why this is happening, or how to fix it. 

“You’re saying this happened after your fight with Agatha?” I frown. We’re in the library now, and it’s eerily quiet, with only one or two other people filling the wooden tables in the dim room. There's the occasional flipping of book pages, but other than that, there isn't much noise. Penny has an assortment of old books she’s hoping will help us, but so far we haven’t had any luck. 

“It was during it. Agatha was the first person to sing a song.” Penny nods, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. I don’t really know what it’ll do to help, but Penny says writing things down helps her organize her thoughts. 

“And did she say a spell before it happened? Did you?” I bite my lip, avoiding her eyes. 

“I may have slipped out a ‘ **_The heart wants_ ** —‘“ I don’t dare finish the statement. My magic is too unpredictable in the best of times. 

“Simon! You know that’s a banned spell!”

“I know, I know! It sort of just slipped out. I didn’t mean to, but it didn’t work anyways. It just made Agatha more pissed off.” Penny scribbles something in her notebook. 

“And did Agatha start singing immediately after?” I nod. 

“Simon... I think the spell did this.” 

“But that’s not even what the spell is for! The persons just supposed to tell you what they’re feeling, not sing it. And it’s not supposed to work on everyone!” Penny taps her pencil against her paper. 

“Si, you know how unpredictable your magic is.” I huff, looking at the book in my hands. 

“So what do I do to stop it?”

“I don’t know, but I’m gonna figure it out.” 

* * *

We spend the night at the library, scouring through books to figure out why this is happening. Penny even gets the librarian’s permission to look through a banned book to find out what the spell I used is supposed to do, but that doesn’t help at all. It just says the same things we’ve been saying. The caster casts the spell on the person, they tell them how they feel, and that’s the end of it. There’s no mention of musical dance numbers, and it definitely isn’t supposed to last past that one person. 

It’s late when I finally start walking back to Mummers House. I’m tired and want nothing more than to just collapse in my bed and forget about this entire miserable day. I hope Baz is already asleep when I get back and isn’t out late doing evil vampire stuff. That’s just what I need tonight. Baz plotting. 

As I’m heading back to my dorm, I hear music coming from the catacombs. It sounds like a string ensemble of sorts, with a strong but melancholy melody. I want to just walk away from it, drown out the music in a pillow in my room, but something about the song piques my interest as I walk closer to it. 

I walk into the dark depths of the catacombs, seeking out the source of the sound. Through the stone walls, I hear a muffled male voice and more string instruments that I couldn’t name. There’s definitely a violin in there, and I’m sure I only know that because of all of Baz’s violin rehearsals that I’ve listened in on. I can’t imagine who could be singing. The song sounds so unbelievably sad, like the person is suffering a lot. It also has a sort of… lonely feel to it. As I approach, I begin to make out the words.

“ _ Father McKenzie _

_ Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear _

_ No one comes near _

I frown, walking closer to the sound. Something about it is vaguely familiar, but also... not. 

“ _ Look at him working _

_ Darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there _

_ What does he care? _

The song is beautiful. It’s definitely older, and has a lot of interesting instrumentals. It’s gut wrenching and the way the singer sings it is full of such a raw emotion, it makes my stomach twist and my eyes glisten. The bloke is a pretty good singer, I’d say. 

_ “All the lonely people _

_ Where do they all come from? _

_ All the lonely people _

_ Where do they all belong? _

I swear, I know the voice. I can’t place it, but it has to be someone I know well. I know quite a few blokes, but none come to mind that’d have a voice like that. I’ve heard Gareth sing and I know I can immediately rule him out. This person’s voice is a lot prettier.

“ _ Ah, look at all the lonely people _

_ Ah, look at all the lonely people”  _

I round the corner, coming up on where the voice is the loudest. It’s dark, but I can vaguely make out a shadowy figure standing in the middle of the room. He’s a pretty tall bloke, taller than me at least. 

“ _ Eleanor Rigby _

_ Died in the church and was buried along with her name _

_ Nobody came _

_ Father McKenzie  _

_ Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave _

_ No one was saved” _

I’m close enough to touch him now. I feel like I should reach out, try and pull him out of whatever he’s on about, but I stop myself, worried I’ll scare him. 

“ _ All the lonely people  _

_ Where do they all come from? _ _  
_ _ All the lonely people  _

_ Where do they all belong?”  _

The music stops and the boy turns around. That’s how, on this already long ass day, I find myself chest to chest with Basilton Grimm-Pitch. 

BAZ

“Aleister Crowley, Snow, what the hell are you doing down here?” He gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. Crowley, I shouldn’t have fed. I can feel my cheeks reddening as he steps back, his eyes blown wide with surprise. 

“Baz?”

“I believe that is my name, Snow. Can I help you?” He gulps, looking around the room like a lost kid who wandered too far from their field trip group. I have no idea why he’s down here, but I hope it isn’t because he’s channeling his fifth year self and following me everywhere. That was exhausting, even before I figured out my feelings for him. 

“I— um— I—“ 

“As eloquent as always, aren’t we Snow?” 

“Fuck off,” he mumbles, stomping his feet as he turns away. He reaches the door, then seems to think better of it. He turns around, a nervous look in his eye. 

“Are you... are you ok?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I snap. He huffs. 

“You’re impossible.” And with that, he stomps away, leaving me wondering why he came down here in the first place. 

  
  


* * *

It’s almost an hour later when I finally head back up to the dorms. I hung around the catacombs a bit longer, brooding and feeling sorry for myself. You know, typical teenage vampire stuff. 

When I walk back into the room, it’s obvious that Simon’s still awake. For once he isn't even trying to hide it, which is interesting to say the least. I huff, grabbing my stuff and heading into the bathroom to change. 

When I walk back into the inky darkness of our room, Simon’s sitting upright in his bed, the moonlight reflecting off his bare chest. I wish he knew what he did to me. Maybe then he would stop walking around the dorm shirtless. But I also know I never want that to happen, because I’m weak and this is the most of Snow I’ll ever get, unfortunately. 

“Baz... are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Since when do we talk to each other about feelings, Snow?” He bites his lip, stroking the covers of his bed. 

“I saw your mum’s grave. On the way out of the catacombs.” My frown deepens as I throw extra blankets on my bed a little too forcefully. 

“Do you... miss her?” 

“She was my mother, Snow. Of course I do.” I don’t like this. I don’t know what sparked this, but I don’t like having Snow casually drop a conversation about feelings with me. I mean, he’s not exactly being casual about it, but it’s still the closest we’ve come to talking about our hearts desires. 

“Right. I just... it’s okay to be sad about it.” 

“Glad I have your approval to mourn my mother, Snow.” He grunts, pulling at his curls. They look silver in the moonlight, rather than their usual gold. It’s ethereal. 

“That’s not what I meant just— you can talk to me, if you want. About things.” I scoff. 

“Thanks Snow, but I’ll pass.” And with that I pull my covers over me, spelling the window closed and trying to get at least a good three hours of sleep. 

* * *

SIMON 

“Penny!” I bustle into the dining hall, plopping down on my seat and grabbing a scone. Penny looks me up and down, obviously dissatisfied with my disheveled appearance. She pulls on my tie, frowning. 

“What’s up Simon?” I pull the tie from her hands, trying it up quickly as I fill her in on the night before. 

“And the song he was singing, Pen. It was so sad and he seemed so vulnerable. Course he turned around and was a complete arsehole after but still.” Penny frowns. 

“So your this worked up because Baz has feelings?” 

“You don’t understand, Penny. He sounded devastated.” 

“Simon just because you think he’s a stone cold evil plotting vampire doesn’t mean he is one. He has feelings too. Plus, like you said, he was by his mum’s grave, of course he was sad.” I make an exasperated protest, but I know it’s no use. Baz just has his own problems and he doesn’t want me to get involved. That’s just it, nothing more. 

But for some reason, I can’t let this go. Maybe it’s because finding him down there last night, singing that song, humanized him. He always seemed like a bird or something, something that was perfect and far off and everything I wasn’t. But last night… last night he wasn’t that. He was sad, lonely. I felt bad that he felt that way. 

“If you’re so worried about him, you could talk to him. It wouldn’t hurt.” 

“I'm not worried about Baz!” 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Penny says with an eye roll. I grunt, stuffing another scone in my mouth. Penny’s dismissal of the Baz situation doesn’t stop me from thinking about him, though. I start scanning the dining hall, not even realizing I’m looking for Baz. I wonder what he’s doing. He’s still not at breakfast, which is very suspicious, even though he doesn’t usually eat breakfast. He has to be plotting something. 

With a start, I put down my scone. What if this was his plot all along? What if he heard me talking to Penny about the spell and made sure his thoughts were all emo and shit when I walked by so I would be concerned about him?

I consider bringing this up to Penny, but the glance she gives me tells me I’ve already reached my Baz limit for today. I pout, finishing my breakfast and gathering my school books to head to class. 

* * *

“Oh sorry!” I say, running straight into someone without realizing. Me and Pen were walking to class, like we do after breakfast, and she was talking animatedly about a research paper she’s working on for Political Science. I was very invested in the conversation, even though I didn’t understand half of what came out of her mouth. Apparently I wasn’t very aware of my surroundings, and I barreled into some bloke, making him drop his textbooks. 

We both bend down to pick them up, bumping heads in the process. 

“Ow!”

“Crowley, Snow. Watch where you’re going,” Baz scowls, snatching his book from me. I huff. 

“You know you don’t have to be a prick all the time,” I growl, handing him another book. Baz stands, running a hand through his dark hair. 

“Yes I do. It’s my main personality trait.” 

“Tosser.” I huff, brushing past him, fuming. I can’t believe him. He’s so bloody infiltrating and just…  _ ugh _ . 

Suddenly music starts up, this time with an electric piano sort of sound. I groan, running my hands through my hair. I will admit, a part of me woke up this morning hoping that I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore and it was all just a really bad dream, but apparently that was too much to ask of my chaotic magickal powers. 

I turn around to find Baz looking right at me, his arms crossed. 

_ “I wake up every evening _

_ With a big smile on my face _

_ And it never feels out of place _

_ And you’re still probably working _

_ At a nine to five pace _

_ I wonder how bad that tastes.”  _

I don’t really recognize the song, but it’s one of those songs that I feel like I should. It kind of has that distinct sound from the early 2000’s, with a guitar and everything. Baz starts walking over to me, looking conflicted and angry. 

_ “When you see my face _

_ Hope it gives you hell _

_ Hope it gives you hell _

_ When you walk my way  _

_ Hope it gives you hell _

_ Hope it gives you hell.”  _

Of course he would sing a song about this. He loves pissing me off and apparently that’s exactly how he’s feeling. Somehow I’m not surprised. I try to back away from him, but he only comes closer. 

“ _ Now where’s your picket fence  _ love,” he says, accentuating the word “love.” He also runs a hand down my cheek, making a mock pitty facial expression. 

_ “And where’s that shiny car _

_ And did it ever get you far _

_ You never seemed so tense love _

_ I’ve never seen you fall so hard _

_ Do you know where you are” _

I scrunch my nose, trying not to let him get to me as I walk away. I didn’t sign up for Baz mocking me through an extravagant musical number, especially not this early in the morning when my brain is still stuck on this morning’s scones. Thanks, but I’d rather skip the whole ordeal. 

But for some reason, I can’t seem to just walk away. As I storm down the hall, walking as fast as I can, the music seems to follow me, along with Baz’s voice. I’m almost to the door of my classroom when suddenly someone grabs my arm, jerking me around to face them. Towering over me is Baz, his grey eyes trained on me, his dark eyelashes lowering. The song slows down, the guitars cutting out, turning into something a little softer. 

_ “Now you’ll never see _

_ What you’ve done to me _

_ You can take back your memories _

_ They’re no good to me _

_ And here’s all your lies _

_ You can’t look me in the eyes _

_ With the sad, sad look _

_ That you wear so well.”  _

For a moment, I find myself captivated by him. He has a hand on my waist, the other on my wrist, and his black hair is falling over his eyes, coming loose from it’s normally slicked back state. We’re close enough where I can pinpoint the exact shade of grey his eyes are; they’re a sort of murky grey color with green undertones. I don’t know why this seems important. 

Then, he suddenly pushes me away, this time seeming angrier than he was before, if that's even possible. He runs his hands through his hair, pointing at me accusingly, his voice rasping as he yells the lyrics at me. 

_ “When you see my face _

_ Hope it gives you hell _

_ Hope it gives you hell _

_ When you walk my way _

_ Hope it gives you hell  _

_ Hope it gives you hell.” _

He stalks away, finishing his song and leaving me standing in front of my classroom, still just as confused as I was before. Theoretically, this should be wonderful news. If Baz is constantly singing his thoughts at me, I should be able to figure out what he’s plotting easily. But something tells me that this won’t be as easy as I think it will. 

“Si why did you run off like that!” Penny says, huffing as she pulls her bag further up her shoulder. She adjusts her glasses, looking annoyed. 

“It’s… Baz.” Penny rolls her eyes. 

“He was just being Baz, you don’t need to run off.”

“No Pen. He… he sang again.” Penny sighs. 

“What did he sing?”

“I don’t know, but he seemed upset.”

“I don’t know, Si. Maybe you should just give it a rest and try to ignore all of this until we find out a way to reverse it. You can’t just act all surprised every time Baz shows an emotion to you.” I glower, heading into class and sitting at my seat. She’s right and I hate that she is, even though she’s always right. I just have to find a way to live with this until we fix it, I guess. Most of all, I have to stop thinking about Baz. 


	2. My Heart Feels Dead Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! I did some planning and I have all the songs split up by chapter and I'm thinking this'll be around 9 or 10 chapters. Hopefully I'll be able to actually finish this fic lol! Fair warning, today's chapter has a lot of angst
> 
> Thank you for all the support you guys have given on the last chapter! <3 [Here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/668Ng0JQWQ1j4BhckFYAcx?si=vJEDJEWzRNmRdWShthhcdA) is the link for the playlist of this fic and today's song is: 
> 
> I Can't Decide // Scissor Sisters  
> 

SIMON

Ok so maybe I did a terrible job at dropping the whole “Baz” thing like Penny instructed. To be completely and totally fair, I’ve never been able to not obsess over Baz. It’s why Penny has a Baz limit in the first place! 

So maybe this is something that I’ve been hiding from Penny, even though we have a strict no secrets pact. However, she doesn’t want to hear about Baz in the first place, so I’m _technically_ not even lying to her. She doesn’t want to know about how I’m back to obsessing over what Baz is doing and what that song he sang last week meant. She doesn’t want to know how many times Baz glared at me today (it’s forty times-- and counting), so I don’t feel guilty by not telling her what I think Baz is plotting now, even though I have no idea what that could be. 

It’s around midnight on a Thursday night right now. I’m tucked in for the night, working on an essay on my bed, my magic leaking with frustration. I still don’t really know what to write about for our Political Science essay we’re supposed to be working on, and that’s probably not a good thing to realize when I’m halfway through it. For a moment, I consider turning to Baz and asking what he thinks, before immediately realizing that’s a terrible idea. Baz would rather drop dead than help me with my homework. Even if he did, he would use it as an opportunity to goad me about how stupid I am instead of actually helping. I know this because it happened back in second year when I was struggling to find the double meaning of a spell. It’s a miracle anyone finds him moderately tolerable. It has to be all in his looks, with his mysterious grey eyes and dark hair groomed to perfection. He’s outrageously fit, and that’s probably the only reason people deal with his rotten personality. 

Baz stands up from his desk suddenly, slamming his textbook closed. His brows are scrunched together as he roughly grabs his jumper, leaving the room without even sparing me a glance. I put down my pencil, looking around the room with confusion. What the hell has Baz in a huff? He seemed angry about something, and I know it wouldn’t do me any good if I went out looking for him, trying to pry what’s bothering him out. 

I know this. I always know these things. I know that this is just going to end up with me getting yelled at or killed. Despite that, I put my essay away, pulling the covers of my bed off and slipping on a pair of trainers. I jump up, smoothing out my shirt, and head out after him. 

It’s been a while since I followed Baz around to the catacombs, three years to be exact. I stopped at the end of fifth year when I caught him drinking and acting all depressed. I’ve started to notice that Baz being depressed in the catacombs might be the trend. 

I creep behind him at a good enough distance, not wanting to get caught. He doesn’t seem to be doing much other than tramping down the curving halls and glowering at anything that moves. It’s hard to keep track of him with all the darkness down here, and more than once I find myself getting a little too close. I’m surprised he hasn’t caught me yet. 

I’m so wrapped up in following him that I don’t really take into account my surroundings, which is why it’s a surprise when I step in something weird that makes my shoe wet and squishy. I stop, willing myself not to gag as I look down at my feet. I can’t make out what exactly it is, but I know it’s something that definitely has no business being on the bottom of my shoe. I sigh, my shoulders sinking as I look back up. 

As if it couldn’t get worse, when I look back up I realize that in my temporary moment of distraction, Baz managed to lose me. 

_Fuck_. 

BAZ

I knew he was following me the moment I walked out of the dormitories. It was definitely a good punch in the face at how much of a monster I was when I noticed. If Snow was tailing any normal person, he would actually be pretty good at it. He kept a good distance where I could barely make him out when I looked over my shoulder, and he was pretty quiet for someone who trips over their own two feet constantly. 

But I did notice him. I could smell his magic from a mile away, overpowering his underlying sweet cinnamon smell that reminded me of the cinnabuns Daphne gets at the bakery during the summer. I could hear his silent footfalls on the stone floor, soft, but still there. I could hear the pounding of his heart and how it raced when I stopped for a moment, debating on turning around and confronting him. 

I’m suddenly transported all the way back to fifth year, when all I wanted was for Snow to give me a fucking break and let me feast on my dirty rats in peace while I debate whether or not to kill him or kiss him. I knew in both scenarios I’d lose. I still do. 

I narrowly manage to avoid a puddle as I stomp through the catacombs, wishing Snow could leave me alone for once in his life. I don’t know what our run in a couple days ago was about, but he’s been looking at me weird ever since, and I have no idea what to make of it. I continue to power walk through the halls, trying to lose him. 

Then, bless all the stars above, I hear a splash and Snow curses, no doubt after he stepped in the puddle that he couldn’t see. I breathe a sigh of relief, using this as an opportunity to run down the hall and turn down a corner, going until I’m sure I lost him. I take a deep breath, leaning up against the wall, my head knocking against the stone. Now to find some filthy rodents to feast on. 

SIMON

So there were many flaws in my plan, I’ll admit. I knew there was going in, but for some reason I forgot to take into account the one reason that seems more important than all the others: I don’t know how to get out of the catacombs. 

It’s been a while since I’ve been down here, and everything is so dark that I don’t even know which way I’m stumbling anymore. I tried to get my wand to light up like a flashlight, but it just sparked and played dead. Useless lump of wood. 

I’m tired, my foot is squishy, and I just want to go back to the dorm room and dream about food. Is that too much to ask? 

I pull my wand out of my trousers again, bringing it up in front of me as one last ditch attempt to get a light going. 

“ **_Let there be light!_ **” 

BAZ

_Shit_. 

SIMON

You know, I thought when I finally found proof that Baz was a vampire, I would feel victorious. I uncovered one of his deepest secrets, I should feel happy or something. I spent all of my years at Watford trying to prove it, accusing him of leaving our room to dine on the fine delicacies the catacombs offered. 

But now that I’m actually standing in front of Baz with a dead rat in his hand, blood in his mouth and fangs out in the open, I suddenly don’t feel as victorious. 

It’s not because I’m disgusted or scared. I don’t think I’ve ever really been scared of Baz, even when there were completely plausible threats thrown my way. I’m more focused on his expression. He looks so defeated and worn. He has bags under his eyes and I can quite literally hear his breathing stop for a moment as his eyes connect with mine. He drops the rat, looking at me with wide eyes. He looks guilty. Of course he does. I caught him red handed. 

“Why the _fuck_ are you down here, Snow?”

“I was-- I was just-- I--” He stands up, his brows drawing together, his mouth opening in a snarl. I can see his teeth. They’re bright white and as sharp as a knife. They’re actually pretty cool, not going to lie. 

He pins me against the wall, looking absolutely furious. His eyes are narrowed, glistening and watery as he looks down at me, using his height to be the intimidating bastard he is. I don’t back down. 

“Go on. You going to tell the Mage? Get my wand snapped?” 

“I--” 

“Aleister Crowley, Snow, you can’t leave me alone for one _goddamn_ minute. I can’t have _any_ privacy around you without you going ballistic.” My nostrils flare as I jerk my chin at him. My magic is overflowing and I can’t really control it. I want to. Desperately. I just want to talk to him, without this turning into a fight. 

“I won’t.” 

“Oh I know. The moment I try to get some alone time suddenly you’re there, accusing me of plotting something like the world revolves around you.” I grunt, fisting my hands together. 

“No I mean… I won’t… tell the Mage. I won’t.” 

“Right. So you can hold this over me whenever you want? Thanks Snow I enjoy being your puppet.” 

“Baz I--” But he cuts me off immediately. 

_“It’s not easy having yourself a good time_

_Greasing up those bets and betters_

_Watching out they don’t four-letter”_

It’s a song. Baz is singing to me, right now. It’s past midnight, I caught him drinking blood out of a dead rat, and he’s singing a song to me. What a time to be alive. 

_“I’m not a gangster tonight_

_Don’t wanna be a bad guy_

_I’m just a loner baby_

_And now you’ve gotten in my way”_

He seems just as angry as he did before, if not angrier. He pulls away at me running his hands through his hair as he gestures widely, seeming to have some sort of internal debate that’s tearing him apart. 

_“I can’t decide_

_Whether you should live or die_

_Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven_

_Please don’t hang your head and cry_

_No wonder why_

_My heart feels dead inside_

_It’s cold and hard and petrified_

_Lock the doors and close the blinds_

_We’re going for a ride”_

For some reason this song feels very…. Baz. It’s one of the songs that makes the most sense to have him sing at me. Our whole dynamic… it embodies everything he’s saying. The only thing that confuses me about it is why he seems like he doesn’t want to kill me, even though he’s saying he wants to. That’s always been the endgame… right?

_“Oh, I could throw you in the lake_

_Or feed you poisoned birthday cake_

_I won’t deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone_

_Oh, I could bury you alive_

_But you might crawl out with a knife_

_And kill me when I’m sleeping_

_That’s why_

_I can’t decide_

_Whether you should live or die_

_Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven_

_Please don’t hang your head and cry”_

He continues to sing, running his hands through his hair and looking exasperated as he paces around the room, as if he truly were debating this. I guess it’s not really a secret that this is what he’s thinking right now. Of course only I’d get a power where I can only hear the obvious things people are thinking. 

The song starts to finish up and Baz resumes his position in front of me, huffing and looking… sad? 

“Baz…” I say softly, reaching out to him. He pulls away, putting distance between us as he wraps his arms around himself. 

“Just go. Go run off to your master.” I sigh, running my hands through my hair. 

“Look Baz--” 

“Just go, Simon.” I gulp, looking around. 

“I uh… don’t know how to get out of here.”

BAZ 

I have three secrets that I keep close to my chest that almost nobody knows, and I never plan on letting anyone know. 

Number one: I’m a vampire. That’s a given. 

Number two: I’m gay. It’s not the end of the world if people know, and I’m definitely not trying to hide it, but my father would be upset if word got out. He still seems to think this is a phase of some sorts, which is absolutely ridiculous. 

And number three: I’m hopelessly in love with Simon Snow. 

Nobody knows these things about me, and the people who do know refuse to talk about it. I’ve been raised since the day I was bitten to be quiet and _never_ discuss what happened the night my mother died. When I came out to my father, he made sure to tell me how poorly this would reflect on the family, and assured me that it was a phase, that I’d grow out of it. Not talking about it… it makes me feel like this isn’t _normal_. Like people will reject me no matter who they are if they find out I’m a vampire or even if I’m gay. 

So excuse me if I’m not open to talking about my deepest secrets, especially to _Snow_ , who seems to be the root of all my problems. Always. 

“Baz you know, it’s not a bad thing that you're a vampire,” Snow says awkwardly, his arms swinging beside him as we make our way out of the catacombs. I roll my eyes. 

“Doesn’t your mentor train you to kill monsters like me?” _Monsters like me_. I don’t like saying these things out loud. It’s one thing to think about it, to sit alone in the catacombs and think “Wow I’m a shitty person and I have to suck blood out of pests to stay alive,” but it’s a completely different experience when I say it out loud; it feels more truthful. It feels like I’m showing him something close to my heart, something that nobody else should see, and I don’t like it. 

“Well…. I guess. But you’re not a monster,” he says, having the audacity to actually sound sincere. I scoff. 

“Baz--” He grabs my arm, turning me to face him. I wonder if he’s as aware as I am. I wonder if he knows what the lack of space between us does to me, how it makes me weak in the knees. I wonder if he knows how much I want to kill him for it, for making me feel these things and figuring out one of the darker facets of my personality. 

“I’m serious. You’re not a monster.”

“Haven’t you been trying to prove I am one since fifth year? Crowley you have your proof now,” I growl. He huffs, jutting out his chin and scrunching his nose in defiance. Our faces are so close that our foreheads almost touch. The disturbed part of my brain imagines him closing the distance. 

He grunts, pulling away. “Well you aren’t Baz, okay? And I’m not going to rat you out. I’m not that.” I raise an eyebrow at him, but he doesn’t back down. 

“It’s highly unlike you, Snow, to not report everything to the Mage. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” 

“I’m trying to be nice!” 

“Ah yes of course! I won’t tell the whole school your deepest darkest secret that’s the nice thing to do! Nevermind the fact I violated your privacy to find out you're a vampire in the first place,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. His face gets red and splotchy, his brows drawing together into a pout. I hate how cute I think it is. 

“Baz, I’m sorry.” 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I’m sorry, ok!” He says, throwing his hands out. “I just… you’re always sneaking out and last week you just-- I found you down here and you seemed so… I don’t know! I just-- I’m-- I’m worried about you.” I raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Excuse me?” He runs his hands through his curls, making them look even more disastrous, if that’s possible. 

“I just… I guess I just… I know how you feel. If anyone can understand it’s me. We live completely different lives, but I know what it’s like to lose a parent, Baz. I know what it’s like for everyone to just-- expect things from you that you don’t even know if you can do. I know what it’s like to feel alone like--” He pauses for a moment, his eyes widening. “Like nobody cares.” 

SIMON

_Eleanor Rigby_ . That song, the one he sang last time I found him down here. It’s a song about loneliness. It talks about feeling like you won’t be missed when you’re gone, about how all the work you do doesn’t matter because nobody _cares._ Because nobody is there for you. 

I have Penny. Penny helps me remember that I am important, that it’s okay to fail and not meet expectations. She reminds me that there’s a reason to work hard, even though I’ll probably be dead before I leave Watford. 

_If I have Penny, who does Baz have?_

BAZ

“Fuck off, Snow,” I say, stomping away from him. I hate him. I hate how he can spend one night in the Catacombs with me and somehow peer into my soul and speak all the words that have been floating around in my head for Crowley knows how long. 

“Baz--” he says with exasperation. Good. I’m glad I’m difficult. 

“Stop trying to be my therapist, Snow. Sorry to say it, but you’re way underqualified.” He grabs my arm again, forcing me to stop and look at him. I know I can easily pull away from him. I’m ten times stronger than him, being a vampire and all, but I stay anyways, because I’m weak. 

“I don’t want you to be angry at me. I don’t want to _fight_ anymore, Baz. We’ve done it for seven years, and I’m tired.” 

“You can’t just _stop_ a rivalry because you’re tired, Snow.” 

“Who says I can’t?”

“I don’t know? The gods of petty arguments and arch nemeses?” He shakes his head. 

“Sorry Baz, the arch nemesis title belongs to the Insidious Humdrum.” I can’t help myself. I snort. He smiles a little, bumping his shoulder with mine. 

“C’mon. Truce?” 

“Are you going to stop accusing me of plotting?”

“That depends. Are you going to stop plotting?” I grin suggestively at him, narrowing my eyes. He sighs, crossing his arms. 

We’re out of the catacombs now. I don’t know how late it is, but it’s definitely too late for us to be out. Snow stumbles, not really able to tell where he’s going with how dark it is. I chuckle and he shoots me a glare. 

It’s a short walk to Mummer’s House from the Catacombs. Soon enough, we’re both lying in our beds, staring up at the ceiling of our room. It’s quiet, the only sound coming from the bugs outside. I’m already starting to drift off, but not before Snow whispers out, “I mean it, Baz. No more fighting. From here on out.” 

“Truce,” I say softly. 

“Truce,” he whispers back. 

* * *

Apparently a truce doesn’t stop Snow from banging things around at five in the morning when most people are, you know, actually trying to sleep. I groan, putting a pillow over my head. 

“Aleister Crowley, Snow, can you keep it down?” He huffs, shoving another drawer closed. 

“I can’t find my shirt.” I peak over at him, bleary eyed. He is, in fact, not wearing a shirt. I groan. 

“Did you check under your bed?”

“Why the hell would it be under there?” 

“Because you’re a walking disaster and can’t keep your side of the room clean,” I snarl. Truce be damned, it’s too early for this shit. I hear him rummaging around a little bit, then a sigh of relief. 

“Did you hide it under there?”

“Why would I do that?” I say, turning around so I’m lying on my back. I look over at him as he puts on his shirt, his curls bouncing as he pokes his head through. 

“I dunno. Sabotage. Make my life miserable.” 

“If this was some sort of revenge plot, then it sure was a terrible one considering I’m the one suffering. Why do you always get up at five in the morning?” 

“It’s five thirty! Plus, breakfast starts at six.” I roll my eyes, turning to face away from him. 

“You’re impossible.”


	3. How Could You Change The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised how quickly I'm churning out chapters for this! Thank you so so so much to @lesbi_honest14 on instagram for betaing this chapter! This one's a little fluffier than the last one, but it has a bit of angst ;) 
> 
> In conclusion: Snowbaz banter is the best banter to write and I will write it till the day I die. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Today's songs are: 
> 
> Wannabe // The Spice Girls  
> My Favorite Things // The Sound Of Music  
> Good For You // Dear Evan Hansen  
> Crush // Tessa Violet
> 
> And you can listen to the playlist for this fic [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/668Ng0JQWQ1j4BhckFYAcx?si=vJEDJEWzRNmRdWShthhcdA)!

SIMON

I bound down to breakfast, feeling a sort of lightness in my step. Last night was an adventure of its own, and my mind is still whirling from everything that happened last night. 

Baz and I made peace. I think. I don’t know. We were still our usual selves this morning, but I think we solved _something._

Also… I was right. Baz is a vampire and he has been all along. He’s also a dramatic little shit, but none of this is really news. Baz has always been like this, and has been sucking blood from rodents since at least fifth year. 

So why do I feel different? It felt like last night was something monumental. I feel like we changed something, like this might lead to something new, something better than the rut we were stuck in before. 

“You’re in a good mood,” Penny comments when I sit down next to her at breakfast that morning. I shrug, buttering up one of my scones. 

“What changed? You’ve been glowering all week, claiming that Baz was plotting something.” 

“I didn’t say _that_.”

“But you thought it. You just didn’t say anything because I suspended all conversations about Baz.” I sigh, knowing she’s right. 

“What changed? Did you and Agatha get back together or something?” I scrunch my nose, shaking my head. Honestly, the whole Agatha thing seems so far away now, even though it only happened a week ago. A whole week, and this spell still hasn’t worn off. 

“No… It’s not that.” I bite my lip. 

Penny frowns. “Then what, Si?”

“I know you said no Baz conversations but…” 

“Baz? This is about Baz?” She stops for a moment, staring at me. “Did you snog him or something?”

“PENNY!” I shout, blushing brightly and turning away from her. She picks up a piece of pancakes with her fork. 

“What? It’s a genuine question.” I groan. 

“No, Pen. I didn’t do that, Crowley. No we… we made peace.” 

“Yeah, the snogging thing seems more likely.” 

“Penny!” 

“Ok ok, so you made peace. How exactly?” I scratch my neck, wondering how much I should tell her. I promised Baz I wouldn’t tell anyone about the vampire thing, and I assume that means Penny too. 

“We… talked last night. Pounded out a few things. Decided that we shouldn’t fight.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“Huh,” Penny says, leaning back in her chair and looking thoughtful. “Interesting.” 

The rest of breakfast is pretty mundane. Nothing out of the ordinary happens, and luckily I make it through without any tableside entertainment. The past week has been full of performances, and a lot of them are about secrets I’d rather not know about my peers at Watford. Just in this week alone I’ve had to witness multiple group songs and duets about things that I honestly couldn’t care less about, and now wish I didn’t know anything about. For example, I’m pretty sure Dev and Niall are secretly dating based on a heated duet to Wannabe by the Spice Girls they sang the other day. Baz, of course, was completely oblivious. 

At the end of breakfast, we head to our first class, working on spells. It’s not terrible, but it’s also not great. My spellwork is always dreadful, no matter how much I try to make it work. At this point it’s just an accepted fact. 

After class I walk with Penny to her next class. It’s one of the few periods we don’t have together, and it’s also when I have Elocution with Baz. Usually that in itself is a terrible thing, but I’m actually kind of curious how that’s going to go, considering last night. 

“Are we going to the library for lunch to do more research about the spell?” Penny pushes her glasses up. 

“Yeah, but I’m going to be a little late. I’m going to skype Micah during my free period before lunch.” 

“Say hi to him for me.” She smiles at me, heading in the opposite direction to get to her class on time. I rush to mine, barely making it. Baz smirks at me when I sit down in my seat, rolling his eyes. I huff at him. 

* * *

So apparently, truce doesn’t mean shit for me and Baz’s relationship. He still teases me about my spellwork and rolls his eyes when I ask a question, even though it’s a totally valid question. at least I think it is. 

The entirety of Elocution is the same as always, with me messing up spells and Baz laughing, which makes my cheeks redden as I yell at him. Today we’re working on a particularly tricky spell that’s supposed to make one of your favorite things appear. It’s a spell I’ve never been able to get right, no matter how much I try. 

“Snow you’d think you’ve summoned enough roses and kittens for one class,” Baz grunts, dropping another cat on the floor. There’s at least five of them, and I’ve already showered him with rose petals at least seven times. It would be pretty cool, if that was what the spell is supposed to do. 

“I’m trying, Baz. Not everyone’s perfect like you.” Baz snorts. 

“God, I know it.” 

“Stop being a twat.” 

“Stop being a numpty.” I groan, holding my wand out again. I don’t know why Ms. Posibef keeps insisting that we pair up with our roommates when she _knows_ that Baz and I don’t necessarily get along. Although I guess it’s better than getting paired with Gareth and his magic belt buckle, but still. This only ever ends with my magic getting out of control as Baz continues to prod, and nothing gets done. 

“It’s not my fault I don’t know the song,” I mumble, trying it again. Another kitten appears. 

“What?” 

“What?” I ask, frowning. 

“You don’t know ‘My Favorite Things’? From the fucking _Sound of Music_?” 

“Why the hell would I know it, Baz?”

“Because it’s a popular song? Even I know it and I’ve never even seen the _Sound of Music_.” 

“Fuck off.” I take a deep breath, trying the spell again, trying to enunciate the words the way Ms. Posibef told us to at the beginning of class. 

“ ** _Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, these are a few of my favorite things!_ **” I cast, pushing all of my magic into it and a hell of a lot of hope. For a moment I think it’ll work, then a bouquet of roses appears in Baz’s hands. 

“Snow,” Baz says, frowning as he sets the roses on the desk. “I’m flattered, but you’re not really my type.”

“ _Fuck. Off._ ” Baz crosses his arms, peering down at me. A piece of hair falls over his eyes. 

“You’re not singing it right.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re putting the emphasis on the wrong words.” I growl at him. 

“Oh yeah? You try it.” He rolls his eyes and pulls out his wand, holding it delicately in his long, slender fingers. 

“ ** _Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, these are a few of my favorite things!_ **,” He casts, singing it in a bouncy sort of voice. A bag of salt and vinegar crisps appears. 

“I fucking _knew_ you ate those when you thought I was asleep.” Baz rolls his eyes. 

“The trick is to accent the ‘drops’ in ‘raindrops’ and the word ‘favorite.’ Why don’t you try it?” I huff but take his advice, raising my wand once again. 

“ ** _Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, these are a few of my favorite things!_ **” This time, a plate of warm scones appears. 

“Crowley!” And Baz… well, Baz actually smiles. 

“See? It’s not that hard, _Chosen One_.” I pick up a scone and bite into it, moaning with delight. Baz looks at me with disgust. 

“You have an obsession.” 

“You’re just upset that you never get to breakfast in time to eat the scones.”

“Because you’re a human garbage disposal and eat them all.” 

“If you actually came to breakfast on time, you would get scones.”

“I don’t want your scones, Snow.” I shake my head. 

“Tosser.” 

* * *

Penny plops down in the seat in front of me and I immediately start talking. I’ve been waiting to tell her about Elocution all day. 

“Penny, you will not believe what happened today. We were working on that spell, the one where you summon your favorite things, and I kept screwing up and summoning cats and and Baz kept throwing his usual snide remarks my way, but then he actually gave me _advice_ and it _worked_. Can you believe it?”

“Wow, Si. That’s great.” Something about her attitude is different from this morning. She seems more defeated and… sad. Considering she just got off the phone with Micah, there’s no reason why she should be acting like this. 

“Hey did you hear about the debate club? Ms. Posibef was talking about it in class today and it seemed like something you would be interested in. I heard about it and immediately thought of you. I wrote down the first meeting date if you want to go together? Baz saw me write it down and said--”

“That’s great Simon,” she cuts in, opening a book and rifling through the pages. She’s flipping them too fast to be actually reading them, which is concerning in itself. I put my hand over hers. 

“Hey, Pen. Are you okay?” Her nostrils flare as she looks down at the page, her body tense. 

Suddenly, I hear an aggressive guitar playing. I look at Penny, wondering if she’s going to be the next victim to sing a song. She stands up abruptly. 

_“So you found the place where the grass is greener_

_And you jumped the fence to the other side_

_Is it good?_

_Is she giving you a world I could never provide?”_

“Pen?” I say, standing up and walking over to her. She whirls around, clenching her fists. She continues to sing, tears streaming from her eyes. 

_“Well I hope you’re proud of your big decision_

_Yeah, I hope that it’s all that you want and more_

_Now you’re free from the agonizing life you were living before”_

I reach out to her but she moves away, walking through the library towards the bookshelves. I follow her as she angrily pulls out books and puts them back mindlessly, not focusing really on what she’s doing. 

_“And you say what you need to say_

_So that you get to walk away_

_It would kill you to have to stay trapped_

_When we’ve got something new_

_Well I’m sorry you had it rough_

_And I’m sorry I’m not enough_

_Thank God she rescued you_

_So you got what you always wanted_

_So you got your dream come true_

_Good for you_

_Good for you, you, you_

_Got a taste of a life so perfect_

_So you did what you had to do_

_Good for you_

_Good for you”_

Never before in my life did I think I would see Penny dancing. The singing, sure that was a shock, but dancing? Penny _refuses_ to dance. She hates it, even when we’re at a school dance and everyone’s dancing to terrible pop music. I don’t know why, she just doesn’t like it. 

But she’s dancing now. She’s dancing and singing, showing an emotional turmoil over someone or something. It’s not the most elegant, but it’s full of harsh movements that show some sort of pain and suffering, adding to the song lyrics and her angry voice. 

_“All I need is some time to think_

_But the boat is about to sink_

_Can’t erase what I wrote in ink_

_Tell me how could you change the story?_

_All the words that I can’t take back_

_Like a train coming off the track_

_‘Cause the rails and my bones all crack_

_I’ve got to find a way to_

_Stop it, stop it! Just let me off!”_

I need to know what happened. Penny is my best friend in the entire world, and I don’t know who could make her feel like this. She doesn’t deserve whatever happened to make her feel this way. 

_“So you got what you always wanted_

_So you got your dream come true_

_Good for you_

_Good for you, you, you_

_Got a taste of a life so perfect_

_Now you say that you’re someone new_

_Good for you_

_Good for you_

_Good for you_

_Good for you_

_So you got what you always wanted.”_

The song ends and Penny is left standing in the aisle of books, breathing heavily, tears pouring from her eyes. I approach her cautiously, reaching a hand out. 

She jumps towards me, latching on to me as she buries her face in my shirt, sobbing. I awkwardly wrap my arms around her, patting her head. 

“Hey, hey. Pen, it’s ok. It’s ok.” She whimpers, rubbing the tears out of her eyes, but they just keep coming. I look at her worriedly. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” She blinks up to me, taking a shaky breath. 

“Micah,” she says softly, her lip trembling. I rub her shoulder. 

“What about him?” She runs her hand through her curly hair, sinking to the library floor. I sit down in front of her. 

“It’s… it’s over.”

“What is?”

“Me and Micah. Micah and I.” 

“What? But you… you guys were supposed to get married, right?”

“Well, apparently not. Apparently, the American girls who actually live near him are far superior to his brit girlfriend who’s too busy to swoon over him all the time.” 

“Oh Pen,” I say, embracing her in another hug. She takes it, sniveling. 

“Micah’s an arsehole.” She gives a half hearted laugh into my shoulder.

I pull away to make her look at me, holding her gently by the shoulders as tears fall on her cheeks. “I’m being completely serious, Pen. You’re too good for him, ok? Damn him and his American girlfriend. You’re Penelope Bunce! You’re ten times better.” She laughs lightly. 

“Thanks, Si. I just… I don’t know.”

“It’s ok. It’s alright Pen.” And we stay on the floor like that for the rest of lunch, talking about how stupid breakups are. 

* * *

BAZ

“I thought you were supposed to stop following me around and stalking me, Snow.” 

“I said I would stop if you promised to stop plotting, which you _didn’t_ . Plus I didn’t come here for _you_ , Baz. It’s not like you’re the center of the universe or something. I came to watch the game.” I raise my eyebrow. 

“If you really came here to support Watford, Snow, Bunce would be with you.” His face gets all red as he tries to mumble out a response, but he can’t seem to come up with a good one. I smirk at him. 

“Fine! I like watching you play. You’re alright at football.”

“Alright?”

“Fine! You’re bloody brilliant okay? That other team didn’t even have a chance.” I chuckle, heading towards the changing rooms to get out of my sweaty uniform. This… is a change. The past week has been full of things like this, small moments where Snow and I will actually get along like we’ve been best mates this whole time. It’s fucking weird and it freaks me out a little, but it’s better than where we were before. We still bicker and argue constantly but it doesn’t have nearly the same amount of venom as it used to. I don’t know how to feel about this rapidly changing situation. 

Snow falls into step behind me, swinging his arms at his side because apparently everything about him has to be loud and obnoxious to remind you that he’s there. He seems to ponder something, fidgeting with the sleeves of his Watford Lacrosse jumper. 

“Hey Baz?” He asks, his curls flopping over his eyes as he looks up at me. I run my hands through my hair, shooting him a questioning glance. 

“Do you want to maybe… I don’t know.... Watch a movie on the contraband computer I’m not supposed to know you have tonight? We don’t have class in the morning so--” 

“What computer?” I ask dismissively. He huffs in frustration, which makes a smile pull at my lips. It’s so much fun to get him worked up and it’s so _easy._

“You know which computer, Baz. Come off it, I saw you looking up _Harry Potter_ fanfiction at 3am.” 

“I have never done anything of the sorts.” 

“Yes you have! You stash it under your bed and sometimes I steal it to watch _Doctor Who_.” His eyes widen as he realizes what he said, putting a hand over his mouth and blushing fiercely. 

“You _what_?”

“Shit, you weren’t supposed to know about that.” 

“You mean to tell me _you’re_ the one who’s been draining my battery, Snow?” He scrunches his nose defiantly, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

“AHA! So you _do_ admit that you have a secret laptop!” I roll my eyes, fighting a smile. 

“Did I? I can’t recall…” I say, stalking off towards the dressing room. 

“Baz. BAZ!” I cackle, giving him the finger as I leave him behind outside the players-only dressing room. 

* * *

We do end up watching the movie, against my better judgement. I walk into the room after practice and find Snow with my laptop, already scrolling through Netflix for a movie to watch. The sun is setting through the window (which is closed-- thank Crowley) and his face is illuminated by the computer screen as his eyes scan his options. He looks up when I open the door, a grin on his face. 

Yeah I’m still not used to that, and it’s been a good week since we started our truce. 

“Snow what are you doing?” I say, setting my practice bag for football next to my bed. He leans back on his bed. 

“Obviously I’m picking a movie for movie night.” I roll my eyes, sitting down on my bed. 

“You don’t have permission to touch my computer.” 

“I don’t need your permission.”

“Considering it’s my computer, yes you do.”

“I could just report it to the Mage, you know. Anyways, this benefits the both of us.” I sigh, knowing that he’s not going to budge with this one. 

“Okay, okay fine. What are we watching, Snow?” He puts a finger on his chin, as if he were truly pondering this. 

“It’s between Alex Strangelove and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.” I flash him a look. 

“Excuse me?”

“What? Both respectable movies. At least that’s what Agatha used to say.” I roll my eyes. 

“Snow, you’re not seriously recommending that we watch a teen romance movie?” 

“That is exactly what I’m suggesting, Basilton, and you’re going to like it.” I sigh, leaning back in my bed as Snow clicks away on my keyboard. 

“I suggest we watch _Twilight,_ Snow, since you want to watch a teen romance and are _so_ obsessed with vampires,” I say sarcastically, sitting up to grab my stuff to change for the night. Snow’s eyes light up mischievously as he looks up at me over the top of the computer screen. My shoulders sink. 

“No, absolutely not. Snow, I swear to Crowley—”

“Oh look! You can watch it for free on YouTube!”

“Snow--” He grins, turning the screen my way. 

“I don’t know about you, Baz, but I’m definitely team Edward,” he says, looking at me in a way that feels almost… seductive. I hate it, I hate it so much. My cheeks redden as I storm into the bathroom to get ready for bed, slamming the door on the way in. From behind the door I hear Snow call, “They've even got all five movies, Baz! We can stay up all night!” I groan and curse every miserable choice that got me here. 

SIMON

If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know how I ended up here. A month ago I almost broke the Athenma fighting with Baz over whether the window should be opened or closed. Now we’re playfully bantering and watching _Twilight_ together while sharing Baz’s secret stash of salt and vinegar crisps and Mint Aero bars. We put the computer on the desk and watch it from our respective beds.

To be completely honest, I’m more than a little surprised that Baz doesn’t just go to sleep or hide the computer back under his bed. Baz has been full of surprises lately, and at this point I’ve just come to accept my blessings and take advantage of when Baz is in a good mood. 

Baz tilts the laptop slighting in his direction, which makes it hard for me to see what’s going on. I try and tolerate it for a little bit, but something about it bugs me. I sit up, tilting the computer again so I have a clearer view of the screen. Baz huffs, turning the screen again. I groan in exasperation. 

“Baz, I can’t see it when you do that.”

“I can’t see it when you literally have the entire screen facing you. Do you ever think about anyone but yourself Snow?” 

“For someone who didn’t want to watch _Twilight_ in the first place, you really seem invested.” 

“ _Shut up, Snow_.” 

“Well I can’t see it when you do that.”

“Then I guess we’re at an impasse.” I bite my lip, trying to debate how to fix this situation. I get an idea, a stupid idea that’ll probably end up with Baz biting and draining me, but I trust him enough to know he won’t. At least I think I do. 

I stand up, grabbing the computer and closing the distance between our beds until I’m towering over Baz. He looks up at me, bewildered. 

“What are you doing, Snow?” 

“Scoot over.”

“You are not allowed to sit in my bed,” he says, defensively, but he moves over anyways, giving me room to sit next to him. Suddenly this whole thing seems a lot more daunting. Baz has always yelled at me for even stepping on his side of the room. If I touched his bed? Forget it, I’d be dead. 

Maybe this truce really has changed us. 

I slide in next to him, sitting up and situating the computer on my lap, Baz sits up next to me so we’re shoulder to shoulder and it makes something weird pull at the pit of my stomach. I press the spacebar, unpausing the movie. Baz continues to watch, seeming somehow more grumpy than before, not moving an inch beside me. 

BAZ

I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS WHY AM I SO GAY?

SIMON

The movie isn’t half bad, I’d reckon. I think that there’s a few things kind of off about the storytelling, and Edward is definitely not the most realistic vampire (not that I’m an expert, but I do have the advantage of actually, you know, _rooming_ with a vampire). I finish off Baz’s crisps. He says he doesn’t want any. 

Baz is as stiff as a board beside me, and it only gets worse the more comfortable I become. I worry that I may have done the wrong thing and think about suggesting that I go back to my own bed when something… unexpected happens. 

A beat suddenly starts as Baz sits up even more, pulling the covers off himself. _Crowley, another song_? 

_“I can’t focus on what needs to get done_

_I’m on notice hoping that you don’t run, ah_

_You think I’m tepid but I’m misdiagnosed_

_‘Cause I’m a stalker I seen all of your posts, ah-ah_ ”

This song is a lot different from what Baz normally sings, which seems to be a lot of emo shit. It’s more bubbly, with a sort of up-beat short rhythm. He closes the laptop, moving over so he can swing his long legs over the side of the bed. 

_“And I’m just tryna play it cool now_

_But that’s not what I wanna do now_

_And I’m not tryna be with you now, you now_

_Mhm”_

He looks over his shoulder shyly at me, as if he were admitting a deep dark secret, which are both things he’s never done before. Baz would never tell me a secret willingly, and _shy_ isn’t exactly in his vocabulary. He does everything in the most extra, extravagant, and over-the-top way he can. 

_“You make it difficult to not overthink_

_And when I’m with you I turn all shades of pink, ah_

_I wanna touch you but don’t wanna be weird_

_It’s such a rush, I’m thinking wish you were here, ah-ahh_

_And I’m just tryna play it cool now_

_But that’s not what I wanna do now_

_And I’m not tryna be with you now, you now”_

It’s… weird. Baz is doing this whole swooning dance routine while singing about what I’m guessing is a crush, and he refuses to look at me. I don’t know what any of these things mean, but they definitely don't add up to Baz. Baz is… well, he’s Baz! Yeah, he’s been better this week and stopped acting like such a prick, but this still isn’t him. It almost feels like he’s possessed, like the song is taking control of him. This can’t really be how he feels…. Right? And if it is, who the hell is he singing about?

“ _But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like_

_Hoping you’d text me so I could tell you_

_I been thinking ‘bout your touch like_

_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_

_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_

_I got a fascination with your presentation_

_Making me feel like you’re on my island_

_You’re my permanent vacation_

_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_

_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush_

_Sorry_ ”

He’s…. He’s acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. I literally don’t have any other way to describe it. He’s blushing and singing in this light airy voice as he sways in the room, a soft smile on his face. It’s actually kind of… cute? It only makes me more curious as to who could make him feel this way. 

_“And yeah it’s true that I’m a little bit intense, right_

_But can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like_

_And I’ve been waiting hoping that you’d wanna text, like_

_Text like_

_It’s what I’m born to do_ ”

The whole experience is surreal and, before I know it, the song finishes and Baz is back to sitting next to me, his arms crossed and _Twilight_ playing as if he didn’t just confess that he has a crush on someone. 

And I’m determined to find out who it is. 


	4. I Don't Care If Heaven Won't Take Me Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back on my bullshit with this chapter. Fair warning, this chapter is pretty hecking angsty and I apologize, but we still have at least 5 more chapters so don't worry it'll get better (and by better I mean fluffier) (hopefully). As always, you can find the playlist [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/668Ng0JQWQ1j4BhckFYAcx?si=vJEDJEWzRNmRdWShthhcdA)! 
> 
> Today's song:
> 
> Angel With a Shotgun // The Cab

BAZ

So I have a predicament. This specific predicament has everything to do with the fact that when I wake up on Saturday morning, my back hurts from sleeping in an uncomfortable position all night, and…. Well. 

Snow grunts, rubbing his eyes as he snuggles closer to my shoulder, his curls tickling my jaw. 

_ That _ . 

Last night, Snow insisted on watching all five movies, even though I told him it was late and I was tired from the game. He wouldn’t listen and I found myself falling asleep somewhere around the third movie. Now, the laptop is closed, resting beside Snow. I’m guessing he fell asleep soon after me, which means….  _ We spent the whole night like this _ .

He’s curled up against me, his arms wrapped around my waist tightly. I couldn’t even move if I wanted to, especially without waking him up. He’s warm,  _ so warm _ , and the way he breathes soft breaths on my neck makes my whole body shiver. He’s never been this close. This was even closer than we were last night. My brain keeps short circuiting. 

I hold my breath, wondering what kind of torture I’m in for when he does wake up. Surely this wasn’t the outcome he wanted when he said movie night. Only a psychopath would want to wake up curled around their enemy (frienemy?) on a Saturday morning. He’s going to be more upset when he finds out he’s missed breakfast. 

Before I can even begin to formulate the proper exit strategy, Snow’s eyelashes flutter against my neck as he pulls away, rubbing his eyes and looking up at me. 

SIMON

Theoretically, I should’ve turned off the movie and left the moment I saw Baz drift off. I noticed it pretty early on, and I had plenty of time to put the computer away and head into my own bed and tuck in for the night. At that point it was already almost 2am, so you would assume I would just turn in for the night. 

I made a decision to finish the movie we were on, seeing as there was only ten minutes left and I was a little too wrapped up in the story. I watched anxiously, huddling under the covers with Baz even though I felt a little too hot. 

This proved to be a problem when Baz grunted in his sleep, leaning over and resting his head on my shoulder. I froze, completely unsure of what I should do. This was uncharted territory. Baz would  _ never  _ cuddle with me. 

But apparently he was, and there was no way for me to get out of it without waking him. I know I should’ve just pulled away but… for some reason I didn’t. I finished the movie, pushing the laptop off to the side and situated myself more comfortably, resting my head on top of Baz’s. I drifted off to sleep as the smell of cedar and bergamot surrounded me, dreaming of vampires and werewolves. 

Now I find myself sitting in front of Baz on his bed, our knees touching and both of our eyes wide with horror. I keep waiting for him to say something, to yell at me, or do  _ something _ . I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what answer I could provide him without sounding like an idiot. 

“Get out of my bed, Snow,” Baz says defeatedly, not having his usual bite. He looks tired with dark circles under his eyes. I jump up, not saying a word to him as I scramble out of the room, closing the door behind me and leaning against it. I sigh, closing my eyes and looking up towards the ceiling. Luckily, I fell asleep in my clothes from yesterday, so I don’t really have to go back in and face Baz just yet. 

I don’t know why I feel so weird about this. 

* * *

I’m so out of it that I don’t even notice when I run into Agatha. 

“Simon!” She says, breathing a sigh of relief as she grabs my arm. “I was looking for you. You weren’t at breakfast.” I run a hand through my rumpled curls. 

“I missed breakfast?” 

“Yeah it was almost two hours ago. Are you feeling alright? You never sleep in this late.” I laugh nervously, trying to fix my clothes. 

“Late night.” A silence falls over us as we both awkwardly look at our feet. I don’t really know what Agatha wants from me and if I’m being completely honest… I don’t really know what I want from her. We’ve talked a little here and there since the Taylor Swift fiasco where she broke up with me, but nothing like it was before. 

“Look Simon I… Well I’ve been talking to Penny because she’s frustratingly stubborn. You know how she is.” I laugh a little, knowing exactly what she means. 

“I just… I meant what I said, Simon. I know we aren’t together anymore, but we truly are friends and I hope we can stay that way. I know it’ll be awkward and it won’t be the same, but I care about you, Simon. Even if it isn’t the way you want.” I stuff my hands in my pockets, rocking on my heels. 

“I get what you mean, Ags. I think I feel the same.” She smiles at me, her eyes crinkling in the corners. It’s one of the most genuine smiles she’s given me in a while, and it makes me feel a lot better. Maybe we  _ are _ better off as friends. 

“Simon?” 

“Yeah?” Agatha twirls a peice of hair with her fingers. 

“I do love you. In a platonic way. You’ve been my friend since first year, and just because we broke up doesn’t mean things have to be weird between us, okay?” I nod, smiling at her. She reaches up and gives me a hug and it actually feels… good. Some tension leaves my shoulders as I realize that this was something I’ve been holding on to. I love Agatha too much to lose her, but I never want to go back to what we were before. Our relationship didn’t feel like it should. It felt too automatic, like we were going through the motions instead of actually wanting to be together. 

“Bye, Simon.”

“Bye, Ags.” 

* * *

Baz hasn’t looked my way once all day, and it’s getting on my nerves. Sure, it’s a Saturday and there’s no reason for us to cross paths in the first place, but I waved to him on the pitch when he was playing with his mates and he didn’t even respond to me. It shouldn’t put me in a bad mood, but it does. Me and Baz’s friendship was rocky from the start, but I don’t like this sudden shift between us. It makes me feel like nothing’s changed. 

Penny notices my bad mood and decides to acknowledge it at dinner as I push around my roast on my plate. 

“Okay you’ve been moping all day. What happened, Simon? I know Agatha was looking for you this morning. Did she say something?” She looks at me sympathetically, her glasses slipping down her nose. 

“It’s not about Agatha. She did talk to me this morning, though. We worked some things out.” 

“That’s good, right? Are you two back together?” I shake my head. 

“I’m sorry, Si.” 

“No it’s okay, actually. We both said it would be better if we stayed friends.” Penny nods approvingly, pulling apart a roll and taking a bite. 

“Well if it’s not about Agatha, what has you all moody? Your magic has practically put a permanent thunderstorm over Watford all day. I didn’t even know that was  _ possible. _ ” I sigh, clenching my fists. 

“Me and Baz had a row. At least I think we did. I don’t know we didn’t say much to each other, but now he’s ignoring me.” Penny looks at me with confusion, raising an eyebrow. 

“That isn’t really news, Si. You two are always going at it.” 

“Yeah, but not lately!” 

“Simon you two were literally fighting in Political Science two days ago.” 

“That wasn’t fighting! It was more like playful banter.” 

“Since when do you and Baz have playful banter?”

“I dunno! We’ve sort of kind of been, I don’t know, friends? I mean, I don’t know, but we’re on a truce and Penny he’s been  _ so  _ much nicer lately and it’s been amazing. Then last night--” I stop myself. I don’t really know how much to tell her. 

“Last night…” she prompts. I don’t give in. 

“I don’t know. He just suddenly went back to the way he was before and it’s so _infiltrating_ because I was finally getting through to him and then he sang about having a crush on _someone_ and I need to know who it is but he just--” I groan. I look up at Penny miserably, fisting my hands in my curls. I can see the gears working in her brain. They’re running at a mile a minute and I can see a thought bubbling up from them. 

“What’re you thinking, Pen?” 

“Si,” she says, reaching out to me. She takes my hand and squeezes it. “I think--” 

But she’s’ cut off by screaming. 

BAZ

My “avoid Snow” strategy leads me to the Great Lawn for dinner. Obviously, the most likely place Snow would be is the dinning hall. Whenever there is even the smallest inkling of food, Snow is drawn to it like a moth drawn to a lamp. Considering this, I decide it’d be best for me to skip dinner entirely and procrastinate facing him. 

I don’t really know what to do. Any normal person would shrug this off and go back to the way things were before without letting the fact that they slept in the same bed as their enemy-but-not roommate get to them. Obviously, normal people aren’t me, nor are they hopelessly in love with said roommate. 

I just need a bit to sort out my thoughts, then I can face him again. I just have to get over what happened last night and carry on as I did before, only this time I won’t let my guard down and let him get as close. I was too vulnerable last night, sitting next to him, and I can’t afford to slip any further. 

Nodding contently with myself, I stand up, brushing the grass off my trousers and start to head back towards the great hall. Before I can even step into the courtyard, a large shadow forms overhead, bringing along with it the dry sucking feeling that almost everyone knows. I gulp, looking up along with the other students who were milling about on the Lawn, my eyes landing on a big red dragon that’s descending rapidly, heading straight for Watford. 

SIMON 

Immediately my sword is in my hands and my magic is rippling off me in waves. Penny and I bolt for the doors, throwing them open, heading towards the dry sucking sucking feeling that comes with the Humdrum’s attacks. I can’t believe he’s here again. It’s been so long since we’ve had an attack that I thought-- or hoped-- that maybe the Humdrum was wearing himself thin. Maybe we actually had a chance at defeating him. Apparently nothing good can happen to me. 

I step out onto the Great Lawn and see it immediately, torching trees as students run away in terror. It’s a huge red dragon, with leathery wings and a long tail that smacks into trees and walls, causing them to topple over. It’s eyes are narrowed to slits, and it only seems to get angrier when it’s eyes land on me. 

“Pen, get everyone out of here. I’ll get the dragon.” Penny nods at me, her purple ring glowing as she heads towards students, throwing out a shielding spell before the dragon blows a plume of fire at them. The poor first years quiver as Penny leads them inside. 

I turn towards the dragon, my magic spilling out of me like an overflowing bucket. I try to focus on channeling that energy into my sword, making it a super weapon. I can handle this. I’ve faced the Humdrum before. He doesn’t scare me. 

“HEY! Over here!” I say, waving the sword at the dragon. It flaps its wings, heading towards me, smoke billowing out of its mouth as it prepares to launch another fireball right for me. My eyes widen and I bolt, willing my feet to move as fast as they can. I run behind a tree, ducking just in time as the dragon spits fire at me. I feel the heat all around me, burning at my skin. I suck in a breath, and immediately round on the dragon when the fire stops. It seemed to think I was dead and busied itself with other things, giving me a clear path to run up behind it. I take my opportunity, sprinting up the dragon’s back, my sword raised high. I don’t really have a plan for killing it, but my best bet is hacking at it till I go off. Hopefully. 

Immediately it feels me on it and whips its head around, it’s nostrils flaring. I feel something settle in the pit of my stomach as it’s large yellow eyes settle on me, pupils narrowed to slits. This is not good. 

The dragon starts to move wildly, flapping its wings, trying to throw me off of it. Without a second thought, I plunge my sword into its hide, keeping a firm grip on my sword so I’m not thrown off. I grunt from the exertion, trying to will my magic to the surface so I can defeat it. 

The dragon does not seem to like having a sword stuck in it’s back, as I imagine most people would. It roars, it’s whole body trembling as it gets ready to expel another round of fire. It’s scales start to get hotter and I gasp as they burn my skin whenever I touch it. I try to yank my sword out and slide off the dragon, but it’s stuck. I panic as my knees start to blister from where they touch the dragon, looking around wildly for a solution. 

The dragon releases the fire towards the stone gate around Watford where, thankfully, no students are hanging around. It’s scales cool, and I’m able to try and wiggle my sword out, having some success. 

“SIMON!” I turn towards the voice, stopping what I’m doing for a small second as my gaze catches on whoever it is. I’m just able to make out Baz with his dark hair blowing in the wind, his wand out and eyes wide. 

The dragon seems to notice him too. It turns its gaze to him, stepping forward. I see Baz stiffen and for a moment I wonder if he’s actually terrified. 

“Baz!” I shout, my heart pounding in my ears. It takes me a minute to analyze the situation and realize something very, very important. He can’t be here. He has to get out of here he’s a vampire, he--

“BAZ! YOU HAVE TO GO!” He doesn’t seem to hear me as he raises his wand at the dragon, trying to think of a spell. I feel the scales underneath me start to warm as I finally get my sword out. 

“BAZ! GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Baz doesn’t listen. Of course he doesn’t, why the fuck would he listen to me? I feel my stomach crawl into my throat as I look at him in terror, my bloodied sword at my side. The dragon is powering up to set him aflame. 

I have to get it’s attention back to me. 

“HEY!” I shout at the dragon. That doesn’t do it. I look around at my options, seeing the sword in my hand. The dragon’s head only a little further away. I start to get an idea. 

I run up the spine of the dragon, it’s scales getting hotter by the minute. It starts to open its mouth, smoke coming out from the sides and it’s nostrils. I’m close enough where I can feel the smoke choking me, but I need to get the dragon away from Baz. I can’t let it hurt him. I can’t let it  _ kill  _ him. 

As I get up near it’s neck, I stumble a little, reaching out to catch myself. That proves to be a mistake as I feel my hand burn and I yelp out in pain, trying to scramble up and regain my bearings. It’s about to blow. 

I’m on it’s neck now, close enough to reach where I need to. I take a look at Baz, standing with his wand out and a determined look in his eye, and plunge my sword in the monster’s eye. 

It howls, stumbling around as the fire inside it extinguishes. It roars, its tail slashing wildly as it backs up towards the stone walls of Watford. 

A little too late do I think, “maybe I should let go of the dragon now.” 

It hits the wall at full force, rocks crumbling around it as the wall breaks under the brunt of it. The dragon’s entire back slams against the wall, which happens to include me, the person on it’s back. 

I feel a shock through my body and the snapping of bones. A burning pain shoots up my back as I’m crushed between the dragon and the wall. 

“Ow,” I grunt out, my vision going blurry and spotty. I hear someone half shouting, half sobbing my name, but I don’t really know who it is. The dragon moves and it suddenly occurs to me that it was the only thing holding me up. 

I start to hurtle towards the ground and I realize: This is when I die. Not during some final battle face to face with the Humdrum or Baz. I’m going to die barely halfway through eighth year without even having a chance to say goodbye to my friends. Of course. 

I close my eyes when I’m inches away from the ground, not wanting to see the moment where I go splat. I wait for my death to come, but it doesn’t. Instead I hear someone cast a spell and feel a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist as we both float to the ground softly like a feather. I open my eyes and see Baz, his grey eyes shining, glossy with tears. My brain feels fuzzy as I lean against him, whispering, “Baz.” 

We get to the ground and he sets me down, hovering over me, his wand at the ready. I don’t really know if I can stay awake for very long, but he keeps telling me to, coating me with healing spells. 

But our problems are far from over. The dragon rounds on us both, it’s eye narrowing in on me. It’s other eye is squeezed shut and it’s large teeth glisten as it snarls. 

I try to pull myself up with my sword and push Baz out of the way so I can face this monster on my own. I won’t let anyone risk their lives for me. I won’t let Baz risk his life for me. 

“Baz,” I grunt. “Go on. I got this. Get to shelter.” I collapse back on the ground, suddenly wanting to take a nap really bad. Baz looks between me and the dragon, his breath hitching. He furrows his brows in the way he does when he’s thinking, then seems to make a decision as he stands between me and the dragon. 

“Baz what’re you doing? You’re flammable,” I mumble. I don’t know if he can hear me. 

Suddenly, music starts playing. It’s a soft, orchestral music that has building chords, adding vocal harmonies until Baz joins them with the chorus. 

_ “Get out your guns, battles begun _

_ Are you a saint, or a sinner? _

_ If loves a fight, than I shall die _

_ With my heart on a trigger _

_ They say before you start a war _

_ You better know what you’re fighting for _

_ Well baby, you are all that I adore _

_ If love is what you need, a soldier I will be _ ”

Baz has his wand raised as he sings, his brows furrowed in determination. The dragon has stopped attacking, which makes me wonder if he’s casting a spell of some sorts while I hear him sing the song in my head. My brain is too fuzzy to grasp the full concept. 

_ “I’m an angel with a shotgun _

_ Fighting till’ the wars won _

_ I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back _

_ I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe _

_ Don’t you know you’re everything I have?” _

He turns to me for a second, his eyes wide with concern and brimming with tears. I don’t know what to make of it. 

_ “Sometimes to win, you’ve got to sin _

_ Don’t mean I’m not a believer _

_ And major Tom, will sing along _

_ Yeah, they say I’m a dreamer _

_ They say before you start a war _

_ You better know what you’re fighting for _

_ Well baby, you are all that I adore _

_ If love is what you need, a soldier I will be” _

I need to do something. I need to help him. I don’t know how, but I have to do  _ something _ . I can’t just stand here as Baz stands in front of the dragon, casting a spell of some sorts that I can’t make out because of this  _ fucking  _ song he’s singing because apparently Baz is feeling some sort of strong emotion in this very moment that seems to overpower everything else. Even though my entire body protests, I shakily get to my feet, walking over to him as he continues to sing. 

_ “I’m an angel with a shotgun _

_ Fighting till’ the wars won _

_ I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back _

_ I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe _

_ Don’t you know you’re everything I have? _

_ And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight”  _

The music slows as I make my way towards him, leaning against him. He looks down at me, a soft and worried look in his gaze. I don’t really think about what I’m doing. I think about my magic, the way that it’s always inside of me, and push it into him, letting it flow between us like a tap. He wraps an arm around my waist with one arm, holding me up and straightening his back as he points his wand at the dragon. 

_ “I’m an angel with a shotgun _

_ Fighting till’ the wars won _

_ I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back _

_ I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe _

_ Don’t you know you’re everything I have? _

_ And I, want to live, not just survive, tonight _

_ And I’m gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight” _

The dragon gets up, starting to flap its wings and turn away from us, heading away from Watford. My magic and Baz’s magic shimmers around us, a strong sort of burnt green smell to it. Baz’s song finishes up as the dragon starts to disappear off in the distance and I breathe a sigh of relief, smiling and feeling very, very tired. 

“We did it, Baz,” I say, slurring my words as I look up at him. He starts to go in and out of focus and distantly I hear him say my name. My eyes flutter closed and I spiral into darkness. 

BAZ

_ NO! No no no no no come on, Snow. Please Snow. Simon. Simon Snow, come back to me.  _

PENNY

The dragon starts to fly away by some sort of miracle. Gasping, I run back towards the Great Lawn, searching for Simon. The grass is charred and so are the trees, and the walls of Watford have seen better days. It’s going to take an enormous amount of “ **_As you were_ ** ,” spells to fix it. 

My eyes land on two figures over by the worst of the wreckage. They’re both on the ground, leaning against each other. As I get closer I’m able to identify them as Simon and Baz.   
“Simon!” I call out, running towards them. Baz turns to face me and immediately I know something’s wrong. Baz’s hair is a rat's nest and Simon’s leaning up against him, Baz’s arms holding him close. I can’t make out Simon’s face, but I can make out Baz’s. Tears are streaming down his cheeks and his chin is wobbling as he fists his hands in Simon’s jumper. 

_ Simon isn’t moving _ . 

“Basilton what did you do!” I roar, running to him and crouching down next to Simon. Baz’s whole body is shaking. 

“I-I didn’t the dragon--” I grab Simon’s arm, putting two fingers on his wrist to check for a pulse, the way my mum taught me how. Baz watches, wide eyed as big fat tears slide down his cheeks. It’s truly terrifying. I’ve never seen Baz lose control, let alone like this. He’s always the cool and collected one that’s closed off, whereas Simon is completely open with his feelings, even when he tries to school his expression. 

` “B-Bunce i-is he--” Baz can’t even finish the sentence. I feel my own heart race as I frantically try to find his pulse, choking down my own sobs. People are starting to come out of Watford onto the Great Lawn, surveying the damage. I don’t even register them. All I see is Simon in Baz’s arms, bloody and unconscious as I desperately try to look for his pulse. 

I give up on the wrist, knowing that I’m terrible at finding it there anyways. I reach for his neck, pressing my fingers to where the vein on his throat should be. 

I almost cry when I feel it. It’s slower and fainter than it should be, but it’s still there. My lip trembles as I rest my head against Simon’s shoulder, sighing. 

“He’s alive. Barely, but he’s alive. We have to get him to the infirmary.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	5. All Those Things I Didn't Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that cliff hanger in the last chapter! This fic is honestly getting more and more wild the more I write. It started as a obscure idea I had at 4am and decided to write, and now I'm past 20k words and my google doc is PAST 50 pages, which is crazy I've never written a fic that long, let alone stuck through it. Thank you so much for all your guys' support on this fic! Your comments make me laugh and y'all are so sweet to me. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I really think there are some gems in it. As always, you can listen to the playlist for this fic [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/668Ng0JQWQ1j4BhckFYAcx?si=vJEDJEWzRNmRdWShthhcdA), and today's songs are:
> 
> Ocean Eyes // Billie Eilish  
> Fight Song // Rachel Platten

BAZ

I may be Simon Snow’s sworn enemy, but nobody protests when I rush him to the infirmary along with Bunce. I’m casting a “ **_Float like a butterfly_ ** ,” spell to transport him while Bunce coats him in healing spells, willing at least a couple of them to take hold. 

At least not all of the Watford students are idiots and the crowd parts as we rush through, giving us a straight path. We burst through the infirmary doors, both mine and Bunce’s eyes wide and panicked. 

The nurse takes over for us immediately, putting Snow down in a bed and mixing together healing potions to feed him. Bunce and I stand at the door, both in different stages of distress. I keep trying to pull myself together, but every time I look at Snow, I can feel another wave of tears and nausea emerge. Bunce steps forward. 

“Is he-- Is he going to be okay?” She asks the nurse, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. She looks like she’s on the verge of breaking like a china doll, and the one part of me that’s genuinely a good person almost reaches out to comfort her. I should comfort her. But we aren’t friends, even if I want to hold on to someone who loves him like I do. Bunce doesn’t know that, though. She doesn’t know how I feel about him, and how having him die would be a fate worse than death for me. 

“I don’t know, sweetheart. But this one, he’s pretty resilient. His magic has helped him through the worst injuries, so we can only hope that he’ll be okay.” Penny nods, wiping a tear from her face. She turns, leaving the room. I should follow her. I should go back to my dorm and try to sleep, get ready to go to bed. I’m his enemy, anyways. I shouldn’t care this much. 

But I don't. Not yet, anyways. I stay there, watching as the nurse bandages him up, giving him medicine and casting spells. I watch as she hooks him up to a normal machine that beeps with his heart rate, assuring me that he is alive. I hear that beeping, over and over in my head until my own heartbeat matches it. 

_ Fuck _ . 

* * *

It’s been three days since the run in with the dragon. Snow’s condition hasn’t changed. Bunce keeps bringing a plate of scones to his room, hoping that he’ll wake up and be able to eat, but that hasn’t happened. He hasn’t been in class to go off like he normally would, and breakfast actually has scones throughout its entirety without Snow to devour them. The days Bunce comes down to the dinning hall, she sits by herself, looking miserably at the seat in front of her. 

It’s awful and I hate how much sympathy I feel towards her. I’m going through a similar Chosen One withdrawal. I don’t eat much, even though I didn’t really before, and I spend more time in the library than in our room. Our room isn’t disastrous for once, and the window stays closed, but for some reason that makes me even more angry. I stole one of Snow’s pillows, hugging it close to me at night as I hoped that he’ll make it through this okay. 

Nothing has ever been able to kill Snow. He’s been through hell and back, quite literally. I shouldn’t worry. He always bounces back from fights like this, springing back into action like an overexcited puppy. 

This time feels different, though. Every time I visit him, he doesn’t look any better. His magic isn’t buzzing in the air like it usually does. I’m terrified that we’re going to lose him, even though I know it isn’t possible. 

I make it down to breakfast one day before classes, my stomach rumbling. I need to eat something, and just blood isn’t sufficing it any more. I don’t plan on staying for long, nor do I want to talk to Dev and Niall about how the Chosen One might have finally offed himself without us having to get involved. However, apparently my pitiful heart has other ideas. 

I grab my food and tea, my head held high as I strut through the dining hall, not making eye contact with anyone and acting genuinely like I’m too good to eat breakfast with them. It draws less attention to the fact that I’ve been skipping meals to stay with Snow when Bunce isn’t there. 

But I pause for a moment when I reach where Snow usually sits. His seat is painfully empty, and it almost causes me to break down and lose the whole cool and collected facade. In front of Snow’s seat is Bunce, pushing food around her plate as she glares holes intoit, looking generally pitiful. I don’t care about Bunce. We don’t talk, and we’re constantly competing to be the best in our class. There is no reason for me to comfort her. She doesn’t even like me. 

I really don’t know why I do it. I know people will notice if I do, and it’s really not helping me keep up the face I always have as a stuck up prick. I know I shouldn’t, but something about interacting with Snow these past few weeks has made me weak. 

I don’t sit in Snow’s seat. Instead, I pull out the chair next to it, setting my food down and giving Bunce a cool gaze. 

She looks up slowly, her brows furrowed and her mouth turned in a scowl that even makes me proud. Her glasses are falling down her nose and her hair is almost as disastrous as Snow’s, which is really something. She has the purple curls pulled up in a messy bun with tons of loose strands falling out. She looks miserable. 

“What do you want, Basilton.” She sounds tired. She also sounds like she wants me to leave. I don’t. 

“I’m sorry. About Snow.” She sighs, setting her fork down on the table. 

“Why, Baz? You never even cared about him. He’s explained to me in  _ vivid  _ detail all the reasons why you hate him and want him dead.” I scrunch my nose, frowning. 

“You don’t know how I feel.” 

“Well you’ve made it pretty obvious how you feel about Simon.” I cross my arms. I know I shouldn’t say anything. After all, me hating Snow is the image I’ve spent years trying to create. It’s not like Snow is suddenly snogging me in the boy’s bathroom and giving me a reason to change the public view on how I feel about him. 

But we’re both hurting, and sadly I think we can only turn to each other. Maybe Bunce can go to Wellbelove, but I don’t have anyone else, and there must be something pretty fucking spectacular about Bunce if Snow follows her around like a lost puppy. Honestly, he acts more like  _ her _ sidekick than she does his. 

“He’s my roommate, Bunce. And unfortunately I’ve formed… a small attachment to him. More than I’d like to admit.”  _ A lot more _ . 

“So you’re saying you like Simon?” she asks with a raised eyebrow. I sneer, mostly out of defense and pray to Crowley that I don’t have enough blood to blush. 

“No. I’m saying that the idiot has been a lot more tolerable in recent weeks and I… well, fuck it, I’m worried about him too, Bunce.” She leans back on her chair, a curious look on her face. 

“Interesting, Basilton. Very interesting.” 

PENNY

Baz is in love with Simon. He has been for a while, and I think I’ve known for a while too. What an interesting development. 

BAZ

I don’t mean to make it a habit. The last thing I need to be doing is eating meals with  _ Penelope Bunce _ of all people. But, one thing led to another and now, when we manage, we eat our meals together.

Well, Bunce eats. I nibble on a few things, take a few sips of tea, but I don’t risk letting my fangs pop. I won’t even eat in front of Dev and Niall, and they pretty much know I’m a vampire, although they won’t outright tell me they know. 

Speaking of which, they also somehow joined me and Bunce. I don’t know why. Probably because they’re frustratingly loyal to me, which isn’t a lot considering Dev’s my cousin and has to be and Niall’s just along for the ride, but I appreciate it. They start to catch on pretty quickly that Snow dying would be awful for everyone and we actually all have a very polite conversation, all things considered. 

Probably the most shocking addition to this misfit table group is Wellbelove. She hasn’t really been hanging around Bunce much since her and Snow broke it off, but more and more she started joining Bunce at meals and outside of class, and eventually she became a permanent member of the table group (which I guess me, Dev, and Niall are now too. It’s weird as hell and I’m sure Snow is in for a big surprise when he wakes up). 

I can tell Wellbelove is more upset than she’ll let on about Snow. She doesn’t seem as ruined as Bunce, but she still winces a little when Bunce reports that there’s been no change in his condition. I still don’t really like her, no matter how nice she is. Not just because she dated Snow, then threw it away, but also because she will  _ not  _ stop flirting with me, and at this point it's borderline ridiculous. 

As I talk to Bunce and Wellbelove more, I start to realize why Snow likes them. And I’ll admit, the two of them have begun to grow on me. Bunce is outrageously intelligent and getting into debates with her is one of the best experiences of my lifetime thus far. Wellbelove still isn’t my favorite, but she’s definitely a lot more than a pretty face. She’s sarcastic and a little dramatic, and she’s a lot more independent than I was led to believe. They’re both really fascinating, and of course Snow would be drawn to them. 

“Are you going to see Simon?” Bunce asks after breakfast. My first block is a free period, and it’s a little scary to know that Bunce knows that’s when I see Snow. I sling my bag over my shoulder. 

“Perhaps.” Bunce pushes a plate of scones my way. 

“Bring these-- Bring these to him. In case he, you know, wakes up. The first thing on his mind will most definitely be scones.” I want to tell her it’s stupid to leave scones out for him like he’s Father Christmas, but I don’t. I actually think it’s sweet. Add that to the list of Bunce’s redeeming qualities. 

I head to the hospital wing, trying to seem cool and collected. I hate doing this. I hate visiting him because it just reminds me how weak I am. It reminds me how much I love him and how seeing him like this tears me apart. I can keep it together when I’m at class or in the dining hall, but in the hospital wing? I can’t keep up the charade. I crumble, which is why I only come here alone. 

The nurse lets me in without a problem, smiling softly at me. 

“He’s doing better, hun. Breathing easier now. Your boyfriend should be back on his feet soon enough,” she says encouragingly. At this point, I’m past correcting her. In her mind, that’s the only logical explanation for why I’d be visiting Simon Snow of all people in the hospital wing. She also may or may not have comforted me multiple times while I cried and squeezed his hand. I’m genuinely considering wiping her memory when all this is over. 

I walk over to his bed, taking the seat set up next to him. The nurse is in her office, typing up something on her keyboard. I lean close to him, brushing his bronze curls out of his face. 

Simon Snow has the most mesmerizing face I’ve ever seen. He has a square jaw and a nose that curls up slightly. His stubby dark lashes tickle his freckled cheeks and his curls are constantly flopping over his forehead, always making their way into his eyes when they get too long. He has three moles on his cheek, and one above his left eyebrow. His lips are pink and his teeth are slightly crooked, and he has a strong chin. 

His face is very different when he’s awake than it is right now. His expression is blank, his eyes closed and hiding his extraordinarily plain blue eyes. He’s paler than he usually is, and his cheeks don’t have their usual flush. Usually, his mouth would be pulled into a bright smile, but now it’s expressionless. Everything about him is so… un-Simon like. 

I sigh, taking his hand in mine. I know if he woke up he’d murder me, but I don’t really care about that. I just need to have his hand in mine, still warm and assuring me that he’s still there. 

“Simon,” I choke out. I can’t cry yet. I haven’t even been here for five minutes. 

“I absolutely despise you, you beautiful disaster.”   
  


SIMON

I’ve been in and out of it most of the time. I never open my eyes. They seem to be glued shut, but now and then I do hear things going on around me. 

I sometimes hear the beeping of a machine of some sorts. I hear Penny talking to me, crying. I even hear Agatha, telling me that she’s sorry, saying that I need to come out of this. 

I think I dream about the times that Baz comes. None of them feel real, and all of them feel fake. He doesn’t say much, but sometimes I hear him crying. Sometimes he curses me or yells at me for being a fucking moron. Sometimes he just holds my hand. 

I quite like the hand holding. I wish the real Baz would do it. 

As my consciousness floats back in, I feel Baz’s familiar long and slender fingers in mine as he takes ragged breaths. Apparently I get another dream today. 

“Simon,” he chokes out. That’s always how I can tell it’s a dream. Baz would never call me Simon. 

I wait for him to go on, and he does, but not in the way that I thought. Apparently I can’t even be in a coma without hearing musical numbers. 

A soft, echoey music starts to play. It makes me feel like I’m floating. Then, Baz’s voice comes in. 

_ “I’ve been watching you _

_ For some time _

_ Can’t stop staring  _

_ At those oceans eyes _

_ Burning cities _

_ And napalm skies _

_ Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes _

_ Your ocean eyes” _

I like this song. It’s soft and sweet and so unlike Baz. There’s a sort of sad and choked up edge to it, and I can’t help but wonder who he’s singing about, if he is really singing. 

_ “No fair _

_ You really know how to make me cry _

_ When you gimme those ocean eyes _

_ I’m scared  _

_ I’ve never fallen from quite this high _

_ Falling into your ocean eyes _

_ Those ocean eyes”  _

I smile, at least I do in my mind. The song sounds like a lullaby, and I very much enjoy it. 

BAZ

“You have no self of self preservation, Snow, and it’s so outrageously frustrating. I don’t know why you’d do this.  _ I’m  _ not worth saving from some dragon like a princess in a fairytale.  _ You’re _ the one who’s supposed to live. Not me. You have to save the World of Mages.” I squeeze his hand.

SIMON

Baz has such a pretty voice. I wish he would sing to me more. Or even just… talk to me. But not the way he usually does. No, I want him to talk to me like this, softly and tenderly. 

_ “I’ve been walking through _

_ A world gone blind _

_ Can’t stop thinking of your diamond mind _

_ Careful creature _

_ Made friends with time _

_ He left her lonely with a diamond mind _

_ And those ocean eyes _ ”

I feel him squeeze my hand. I want to squeeze back, to tell him to continue, even though he’s probably not actually singing. 

BAZ

“And I just-- I want you to wake up, Snow. I want you to be on your feet, eyes open as you glare at me with your ordinary blue eyes and laugh when Bunce says something funny. I miss you, Snow. I miss you so much.” 

SIMON

_ “No fair _

_ You really know how to make me cry _

_ When you gimme those ocean eyes _

_ I’m scared _

_ I’ve never fallen from quite this high _

_ Falling into your ocean eyes _

_ Those ocean eyes _ ”

_ Keep singing, Baz. Stay here with me forever in the inky darkness of my mind, singing your beautiful songs as you hold my hand. I want to stay in this moment forever, even if I’m not the person he’s singing about. I think.  _

BAZ

“Snow I just… Fine. I care about you. More than that. I’m hopelessly in love with you and I can’t do this. I don’t want you to not be here. I need you. Even if you’re yelling at me and scowling, it’s better than this. I want you on your feet. Please, just wake up.” 

SIMON

“ _ No fair _

_ You really know how to make me cry _

_ When you gimme those ocean eyes _

_ I’m scared _

_ I’ve never fallen from quite this high _

_ Falling into your ocean eyes _

_ Those ocean eyes _ .” 

The song finishes and I hear Baz sigh. He pulls my hand up, pressing it against his forehead. I can almost feel his hair brushing against my hand and it occurs to me that I’d very much love to actually touch it. I think he’s crying. 

“Please, Simon. Wake up.” I feel a lump form in the back of my throat.  _ I want to, Baz. I want to see you. I want to open my eyes and squeeze your hand. But I can’t. Not yet _ . 

BAZ

Bunce bursts into the dorm and I almost drop my book, yelping in surprise. She has a wild look on her face, her eyes wide and excited. I slowly set my book down, sitting up. 

“Bunce. I could’ve been changing.” She waves her hand dismissively, stomping over to me and grabbing my arm roughly. She tries to pull me out of the room, but I dig my heels into the floor. 

“Bunce, what the hell is going on?” She stomps her foot, turning to me, her ponytail whipping behind her. 

“Simon’s waking up.”

* * *

I might be a vampire, but I don’t think I’ve run anywhere faster than I do now. Bunce runs after me as we race towards the infirmary, both eager to see if the news is true. 

When we get there, both Wellbelove and the Mage are already there, hovering over Snow as he starts to move. 

_ He’s moving _ . 

I rush over to Snow, taking a spot next to Wellbelove, who nods curtly at me. Bunce gasps, taking my other side, a smile pulling at her face. The Mage fixes me with a glare, no doubt wondering why I’m here. To hell with him. 

Snow grunts, raising a hand to his face as he rubs his eyes. All of us gasp, eyes wide. Bunce looks like it’s Christmas morning. 

Snow sits up, blinking up at the four of us, looking slightly disoriented. Bunce grabs my arm, practically leaping with joy. I’m so relieved I could faint. 

He looks at each of us in turn, then runs a hand through his curls, blowing out a puff of air. 

“What the  _ fuck _ happened?” 

SIMON

Baz is the first to say something. 

“You’re a fucking numpty, that’s what happened,” he says, crossing his arms and glaring at me. 

“Basilton!” She shouts, smacking his arm. She turns to me, a smile breaking across her face. I’ve been around the three people in front of me long enough that I can tell they’re all relieved. 

“You passed out after you and Baz took down the dragon.” Pieces of it float back to me, slowly. I vaguely remember Baz being too proud to back away from the dragon and my desperate attempts to distract it. I also remember helping Baz somehow… and him visiting. Him singing a song. 

I give Baz a curious glance, wondering if he’ll address everything that happened. He doesn’t. He crosses his arms and looks away from me. 

“We were so worried about you, Si,” Agatha says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I smile at her, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly before letting it go. 

Baz’s nostrils flare, but he doesn’t say anything. I don’t know what to make of him. He always has on some sort of mask and it’s frustrating as hell, because he’ll sing all these sappy songs and cry his heart out in the catacombs to  _ Eleanor Rigby _ , but he won’t tell me how he feels. Ever. Even now, I don’t know if he’s upset that his sworn enemy didn’t die, or if he’s happy I’m still alive. 

“Are you feeling better, my boy?” a different voice. It startles me as I turn towards the speaker, seeing the Mage’s familiar mustache. I didn’t even realize he was here. I smile at him. 

“Yes sir. As good as I can be.” He nods solemnly, and I know that’s not the only thing he wants to say. Both Penny and Agatha shrink away from him, not wanting to intrude on the two of us, but still not quite wanting to leave. Baz is the only one who stays put, looking obviously annoyed. The Mage seems to have similar feelings about him being here. 

“Good. Much has happened in the two weeks you were out.”

“I was out for  _ two weeks _ ?” I ask, fisting my hands in the blankets in front of me. That much time has passed? I’ve never been out for more than a couple days, but  _ two weeks _ ? No wonder everyone seemed so relieved that I actually, you know,  _ woke up _ . They probably thought I was dead. They probably went funeral dress shopping for all I know. 

“Yes. And there are many problems that must be addressed.” 

“Wait,” Baz interjects, “Are you seriously putting him on a mission?  _ Right now _ ?” The Mage huffs with annoyance, putting his hand on the hilt of his sword. He speaks to me instead of Baz when he answers the question. 

“Yes. It’s urgent and we’ll have to leave as soon as possible. Be ready by sundown.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT!” Penny says, rounding on the Mage. She steps forward, her hands on her hips. “You can’t possibly mean that. With all due respect, sir, he  _ just woke up  _ from a  _ two week long  _ coma. He’s in no condition to be going on a mission.” She pushes her glasses up her nose. 

“This isn’t about,  _ Simon _ . The World of Mages could be at stake. Surely a mere…  _ child _ wouldn’t understand.” Baz steps forward, giving the Mage a nasty glare. It’s almost terrifying, especially because Baz is a tall bastard and towers above the Mage by at least an inch or two. 

“With absolutely no respect,  _ sir _ , Simon can’t go on whatever mission you have for him,” Baz snarls, his fingers curled into fists. The Mage rolls his eyes. 

“Obviously you  _ Pitches _ wouldn’t understand. All you care about is power. You don’t understand that this is much bigger than you. Simon will be leaving Watford tonight for his mission, and that’s final. Isn’t that right, my boy?” The three of them turn to me, their expressions angry and frustrated. I gulp, pulling at my sheets. 

“Um--” The Mage doesn’t let me say anything. 

“Get up, Simon. We must prepare for tonight.” The look Baz gives me is positively murderous and I know if I get out of this bed he’ll most definitely find a way to put me back in it. Penny’s expression is a little more subdued, but it’s plainly obvious how they both feel. Agatha is extremely quiet next to me. 

“Sir--” Penny starts to say. He cuts her off. 

“ _ Now _ , Simon.” I pull the covers off myself, swinging my legs around to stand up. Before I can, though, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around, and see Agatha, shaking her head. 

“Simon, you need to rest.” 

“Simon--” The Mage says, getting more and more angry by the minute. I don’t know what to do. 

“Sir he can’t--” 

“NOT ANOTHER WORD FROM YOU!” He shouts at Penny, whirling around to face her. Everything about her body tenses up, her teeth clenched as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She straightens her back, puffing out her chest daringly, as if challenging him to a fight. It’s a look I’ve seen on Baz a few times, and myself countless times. Penny is not backing down. 

As if reaffirming my thoughts, piano notes drift into the room, slow and steady in short beats. Immediately, I don’t have to guess who’s going to sing. 

_ “Like a small boat _

_ On the ocean _

_ Sending big waves _

_ Into motion _

_ Like how a single word _

_ Can make a heart open _

_ I might only have one match _

_ But I can make an explosion” _

Penny starts to walk up to the Mage, tall and proud and she angrily spits out words. The Mage backs up, eyes wide. 

_ “And all those things I didn’t say  _

_ Wrecking balls inside my brain _

_ I will scream them loud tonight _

_ Can you hear my voice this time _

_ This is my fight song _

_ Take back my life song _

_ Prove I’m alright song _

_ My power’s turned on _

_ Starting right now I’ll be strong _

_ I’ll play my fight song _

_ And I don’t really care if nobody else believes _

_ ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me” _

She puts her hands on her hips, her brows drawn together in a big frown. Her eyes are narrowed and she looks like a force to be reckoned with, and I know I’d be scared if I were the Mage. I wait for her to continue, but to my surprise, she doesn’t.  _ Baz  _ does. 

_ “Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep _

_ Everybody’s worried about me _

_ In too deep _

_ Say I’m in too deep _

_ And it’s been two years I miss my home _

_ But there’s a fire burning in my bones _

_ Still believe _

_ Yeah, I still believe” _

He walks up beside Penny, pointing a finger at the Mage’s chest, his expression similar to Penny’s. 

_ “And all those things I didn’t say _

_ Wrecking balls inside my brain _

_ I will scream them loud tonight _

_ Can you hear my voice this time?”  _

Then, they start to sing together, their voices mashing together into a furious duet as they gesture wildly at the Mage, yelling at him. 

_ “This is my fight song _

_ Take back my life song _

_ Prove I’m alright song _

_ My power’s turned on _

_ Starting right now I’ll be strong _

_ I’ll play my fight song _

_ And I don’t really care if nobody else believes  _

_ ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me _

_ A lot of fight left in me _ ” 

Then, they turn to me. I feel my heart stop, wondering what this could mean. But they don’t talk to me, nor do they sing at me. Instead they watch as Agatha moves away from my bed, walking towards them, her mouth drawn in a tight frown. 

_ “Like a small boat, on the ocean _ ,” she sings softly, looking at Baz and Penny. 

_ “Sending big waves, into motion _ ,” Baz sings, matching tone and volume. It’s actually… kind of remarkable. They’d make a good band, I’d reckon. 

_ “Like how a single word can make a heart open, _ ” Penny says, reaching for Agatha’s hand. Baz looks over at me, running a hand through his hair. 

“ _ I might only have one match _ ,” he sings. 

“ _ But I can make an explosion _ ,” Agatha says, turning to the Mage. 

_ “This is my fight song  _

_ Take back my life song _

_ Prove I’m alright song _ ”

Agatha’s shouting the lyrics, full of passion and just as angry as Penny and Baz. It’s amazing. She’s always the one that’s more subdued out of all of us, and to see her like this? To see all of them like this, singing this song so passionately, it’s making me feel a lot of things. I think I might be tearing up. 

_ “My power’s turned on _

_ Starting right now I’ll be strong (I’ll be strong) _

_ I’ll play my fight song _

_ And I don’t really care if nobody else believes _

_ ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me”  _

They sing the chorus one last time together, then Penny pushes her glasses up, putting her hands on her hips as she sings the final verse. 

_ “Know I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me _ .” 

The three of them are left standing in front of the Mage, none of their expressions changing, Penny huffing like she does when she yells at me. The intensity in all of their gazes is… well it’s intense. I want to cry. Is that really how they all feel about me? Even Agatha? Crowley, even  _ Baz _ ? 

“Simon cannot go, sir,” Penny says definitely, her hands on her hips. “It isn’t safe and it’s only going to get him hurt.”

“Surely even you can understand the importance of his health,  _ sir _ ,” Baz chimes in venomously. Agatha crosses her arms, brushing a strand of blonde hair over his shoulder. The Mage looks trapped as he spares a glance at me, his shoulders sinking in defeat. 

“You children know  _ nothing _ ,” he says, storming out of the room. Everyone falls silent, eyes wide. I stare at them and they stare at me, and I wonder exactly how much I’ve missed. 


	6. That is a Metro, Hetero Jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! This ones a lot fluffier. I'm gonna be completely honest, this was the chapter I was most excited for, just because I'm really excited about the song choices. I think they really suit the characters, but also seem just enough out of character that it adds some fun elements. Enjoy! (I also managed to sneak in a Conan Gray song because I just started listening to his music and I LOVE IT all of his songs are perfect Baz material so he might be a reoccurring artist) 
> 
> As always, you can listen to the playlist for this fic [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/668Ng0JQWQ1j4BhckFYAcx?si=vJEDJEWzRNmRdWShthhcdA)! Today's songs are: 
> 
> (Can We Be Friends?) // Conan Gray  
> NO // Meghan Trainor  
> There Right There! // Legally Blonde Musical

SIMON

So. I missed a lot in the two weeks I was out, which was quite evident the moment I woke up and saw Penny holding Baz’s arm tightly as she smiled brightly at me. 

I noticed something was off when I first went back to my room. It was probably about a week later before they officially let me return to my normal routine, something about a concussion or something (the nurse said that she would’ve told the Mage that I couldn’t go on the mission anyways, but she appreciated my friends theatrics). For the most part… Baz ignored me. It wasn’t quite as bad as it was the day of the dragon attack, I mean, he still talked to me (he kind of  _ has  _ to. Apparently him and his mates sit with us during meals now along with Agatha, which is wild in itself, but not really the craziest thing that’s happened to me), but he was distant. Closed off. Whenever I tried to talk to him, he gave me short, quipped responses. It drove me up a wall, not having him… I don’t know, react? He doesn’t even insult me like he used to during classes. It just seems like he’s trying to keep me at an arm's length, despite the progress we’ve made. Despite the dragon and the songs I’ve heard him sing and movie night. 

I’ve tried to bring that up a couple times. Not the movie night, but the songs. So far I’ve heard four pretty loaded songs from him, two of which might’ve been love songs of sorts. Neither of them have given me hints as to who he might like. 

One night I tried being direct about it. I asked him to play truth or dare. He refused. I tried to get creative and slipped a comment to him. 

“You know, now that we’re not enemies anymore and I’m not dating Agatha, it’s okay if you want to date her. I know you have a crush on her.” 

“I never said we weren’t enemies, Snow.” I blushed, running a hand through my curls. 

“Right. Well my statement still stands. We aren’t together.” Baz snorted, flipping a page in the book he was reading. 

“Don’t worry, Snow. I’m not going to take your precious golden girl. Anyways, I never had a crush on her.”

“But you-- you--” Baz rolled his eyes, going back to his book and ignoring me. 

That’s the furthest I’ve gotten to having a personal conversation with Baz. Not that we had personal conversations before. It’s just… I don’t know what happened to the progress we made. And I  _ know  _ there was progress. I know he visited me when I was out, and I know he was there when I woke up. I know that he sang that song with Penny and Agatha and protected me from that dragon when he could’ve just ran away and let me die. I have so many questions about Baz, and he won’t answer  _ any  _ of them. Neither will Penny. 

“Honestly, Si, Baz isn’t plotting anything. Would you give it a rest?” I groan, leaning back in my chair. We’re in Magic Words class, one of my few classes without Baz. Now that he sits with us, this is my chance to catch up on Baz gossip with Penny. She doesn’t like Baz gossip. 

“But what if he is! Why else would he be so friendly to all of you and distant to me?” Penny sets her pen on the table, turning to me with an angry look in her eyes. Her jaw is set. 

“Simon, I love you, but I swear to Crowley you need to  _ stop  _ this. Everyone was worried about you, even Baz, believe it or not. We all came together because we  _ love  _ you, and want to help you. I don’t know what the  _ fuck _ you and Baz are going through, but you need to get over yourself. Just talk to him, for crying out loud. Obviously you’re having problems since you don’t have all his undivided attention.”

“That’s not it, Pen! He’s just…  _ ignoring  _ me and I don’t understand why. Anyways, I--” I look around and lean closer to her, whispering, “I heard him sing a love song. Twice.” Penny sighs, leaning back in her chair. 

“And what does it matter, Si? What does this have to do with anything?”

“I--” I don’t have an answer to her. It’s not important that I know who it is. It’s not important that Baz is in love with someone. “I don’t know, Pen. But I have to know. And he just  _ won’t talk to me _ .” She gives me a pitying look and I get the slight suspicion that she knows something I don’t. 

“Simon, maybe he’s just trying to take things slow. You two have been at each other’s throats for  _ years _ . This relationship is new for both of you, and Baz is more cautious than you are.” 

“What’s that supposed to me?” I say, trying to keep the offence out of my voice. Penny sighs, putting a hand on my shoulder. 

“I’m just saying, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you have a habit of barrelling into every challenge you face. You go at it at full speed and don’t take your time. Baz… is different. He thinks too much and stops himself from being impulsive like you. To be quite frank, both of those qualities are annoying as hell on the both of you, but that’s just you. Just give him some time, alright Si?” I pout, but I’ll admit, she is kind of right. She always is. 

“Alright.”

* * *

BAZ

Simon Snow is a menace, and I am not afraid to say it. Ever since he woke up, he seems determined to throw my strategy off the rails. More than once I’ve found myself slipping up and smiling softly at him or saying something nice. Every time I do, I try to draw myself further away from him. I don’t want to go back to what we were before the dragon, but I also don’t want to go back to where we were before he found out I was a vampire. I’m selfish and want Snow all to myself, but I also don’t want him to know how in love with him I am. I want to make him smile, but I don’t want him to see me blush when he bumps his shoulder with mine in the hall. 

He’s really trying to be friendly, though, which is making this harder than it has to be. I knew I shouldn't have sat at that table with Bunce, and I know I should stop, but it really feels like our groups clicked. All of us are so different, but I feel like something links us together, something that makes me want to stay. 

And it’s not just because of Snow. Bunce is such an interesting person, and every once in a while Wellbelove and I will have a conversation worth my while. Surprisingly, Snow gets along with Dev and Niall well enough, and Dev and Niall don’t seem to care where we sit. So much is changing so fast that I feel like the room is spinning. I don’t know how we ended up here, and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or bad thing. 

My father still expects me to poison Snow’s food at some point or another. Snow still thinks I’m plotting. Bunce is always flashing me strange looks I can’t quite decipher. 

But something’s changed, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to change with it. Changing could mean laying all my feelings out in the open, and letting Snow know that I like him? It would be disastrous. 

We’re in our room now, both studying at our separate desks. Snow keeps sneaking glances at me and I keep pretending they mean more than they actually do. His magic is leaking out of him like an overflowing tap. He keeps tapping pencils and crinkling paper, things he knows I hate, as if he were trying to get my attention. I don’t want to give it to him, but there’s only so much I can take before I cave. 

I turn to him exasperatedly, ready to yell at him to stop. He cuts me off. 

“What spell did you use on the dragon?” he asks suddenly, throwing me completely off course. Out of everything he could possibly ask me, this is not what I expected. Most of his questions lately were about my true intentions and a not so subtle way of asking me if I have a crush on anyone. 

“Why, Snow? Planning on spelling away any more dragons? That’d be a sight to see.” He huffs, turning his chair to face me. You’d think at a magickal boarding school with towers and everything could afford bigger rooms for their students, but our desks are really just one desk with two chairs shoved into it. In second year I drew a line across the table and told Snow that none of his stuff could cross it. Even though the line’s gone, he still manages to adhere to that rule. 

The biggest problem with the desk? If Snow turns to face me, we’re close enough together that our knees touch and I can smell the school shampoo on his hair. Which is exactly what is happening right now. I scowl at him. 

“No I just--” he stutters. “Penny wanted to know. She said it was really cool, what you did.” I look at his eyes, raising an eyebrow in the way I know he hates. 

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure I already spoke with Bunce about the spell.” I didn’t. Snow is a terrible liar and I can tell. He grunts, his face getting red and flustered as he tries to stammer out a response. It truly is adorable. 

“Well I just-- she-- I-- Okay fine! I want to know what spell it was.” 

“You were there, Snow.” 

“Well I kind of forgot, okay?” He crosses his arms and pouts, looking away from me. I soften a bit. 

“ **_Ladybird, Ladybird_ ** ,” I say. 

“What?”

“That’s the spell I used.  **_Ladybird, Ladybird_ ** .” Snow frowns at me. 

“But that’s only a spell for common pests. There’s no way that could turn away a dragon.” I fold my arms in front of me. Does he really not remember what happened that day? I mean, he was kind of out of it, but you would think that someone wouldn’t forget about it. Whatever  _ it _ was. 

“Yes. My magic couldn’t.” I look at him pointedly, wanting him to put together the pieces. He frowns, looking at the ground as he mulls it over very intensely. When he comes to the conclusion, his entire face lights up and he looks at me with a bright smile. My insides turn to liquid. 

“Baz,” he says, standing up. I stand up too, alarmed. I have a slight suspicion that he’s about to accuse me of another plot. He gave me his magic (Crowley, I’ve been trying to figure out how for weeks. I kept thinking that if he did it again, I could heal him. I’ve spent countless days holding his hand, begging him to give me some so I could help him. Between that and the crying, I was a mess), but he could easily turn this on me. He could say I stole it. I just gave him the keys to kicking me out of Watford. Or worse, the Mage could use him as a more deadly nuclear weapon. Experiment on him. Hurt him. 

Instead of doing any of those things, Snow defies my expectations and grabs my hand, pulling me over to my bed. My heart races thinking about what that could mean. I have no idea what the hell is going on. 

“You’re not allowed on my bed, Snow,” I say as he pulls us both onto it. We sit next to each other, still holding hands. I’m about to say something else when he grabs my other hand. 

“I’m going to try something. Don’t freak out.” 

“What the hell are you going to do, Snow? Ki--” I don’t get to finish my statement. Suddenly I feel a flood of energy pass from his hands to mine, filling me up with his powers, just like that day with the dragon. I know that we go to a magickal school and all and I have a  _ wand,  _ but this is truly magickal. I know Snow feels it too. He grins at me, nudging my shoulder. I feel like I’m floating. I feel like I’m bottomless, and nothing can stop me. I feel invincible. 

I also feel a little drunk.

“Cast something,” Snow says, softly. He squeezes my hand. I take a deep breath, looking from our joined hands to his face. 

“ **_Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are_ ** ,” I sing softly. It’s the first song that comes to mind in the moment, and I don’t know why. Snow looks at me in awe, and for a moment I don’t even register the way the room shifts around us. I could get lost in Snow’s freckled face forever. 

But it’s kind of hard not to notice the stars. They start to blink to life like neon signs at night when the streets come to life. The room starts to fade into darkness, the light of billions of stars and nebulas lighting our faces. And Snow keeps smiling. He smiles and smiles, shooting me one as he bumps my shoulder, urging me to go on. 

“ **_Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky_ ** .” The stars glimmer brighter, twinkling like diamonds, just like the song says. 

_ “ _ **_Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are_ ** ,” I sing, finishing the song. The silver light from the stars reflects on Snow’s skin and sparkle in his eyes, which are wide with wonder. It’s truly beautiful. 

“Baz, do you know what this means?” Snow whispers. I sigh, shaking my head. He laughs, his eyes crinkling. 

“Me neither. But it’s cool.” 

“Alright, Snow.” 

“I’m serious.”

“Let’s look at the stars.” And we do. We look up at the ceiling of the room, which seems to have turned into a window to the night sky where we can see every single star and planet visible to the human eye, and some you can only find with a telescope. Snow keeps moving closer to me, but I can’t find it in myself to move away or yell at him. I can have this. I can have this insane moment where we’re sharing magic, watching the stars on my bed where Snow is sitting next to me for the second time this year. He grins at me. 

“I bet you actually paid attention in astrology and can name all these stars.” I scoff, rolling my eyes. 

“You bet your arse I can.” He grins at me, moving slightly closer. We haven’t let go of our hands. To keep the spell going, of course. 

He puts his head on my shoulder, sighing. 

“Show me them.” 

SIMON

Baz has a nice voice. Not just when he’s singing, although that’s pretty, too. I’ve decided that there isn’t a thing about Baz that isn’t perfect, except for the fact that he’s an evil plotting vampire. Although I’m not so sure about that now.

I’m laying on his chest, not quite sure when either of us got here, feeling the vibrations in his throat as he tells me about Orion and his quests. I knew Baz was kind of a nerd, considering he is top of our class and everything, but I always thought that was part of his theatrics. It was the perfect element for his perfect appearance, but it really is more than that. He really does enjoy learning and reading, and talks so energetically about all the stars and stories associated with them. He talks about mighty heroes the Greeks believed were immortalized in the stars sparkling in the night sky. 

For a moment, Baz stops, sighing. I look up at him, wondering what caused it. He looks down at me and has an impossibly soft look in his eyes that I can’t quite decipher. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what I  _ want  _ it to mean. 

Quiet guitar music starts playing and I sit up, looking down at him. He sits up too, following me up as he holds my hand tight. I stare into his grey eyes, willing an emotion out of him. I want to know what he’s feeling. 

_ “Could you be my best friend? _

_ Let’s hang out every weekend _

_ Go driving every night _

_ Stare at people that we like” _

He’s smiling at the ground, not daring to look at me. He has that shy look on his face that he had when he sang during the movie that night. He looks hesitant, uncertain, and above all else, vulnerable. Baz is never vulnerable. 

_ “Could you be my best friend? I’ll tell you all my secrets _

_ I’ll tell you all the times  _

_ That I wish I could die” _

He reaches up, his hand brushing my cheek. It makes me feel a very certain way that I don’t want to think about right now. 

_ “And if anybody fucks with you _

_ They fuck with me _

_ So, if anybody fucks with you _

_ I’ll knock their teeth out, yeah _ ”

He pulls me close for this one. We’re chest to chest, noses bumping together. A fleeting thought tries to enter my mind, but I don’t quite catch it before it flutters away. 

_ “Could you be my best friend? _

_ Can we be friends?  _

_ Could you be my best friend? _

_ Can we be friends?”  _

Baz moves away from me and I feel like I can breathe again. The song wraps up, and Baz lets go of my hands. The stars fade away and he backs away, looking slightly frightened. Immediately his walls go back up. 

“Get out of my bed, Snow,” he says, echoing his past self. I shake my head. 

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“No fighting. For real this time.”

“We weren’t really fighting, Snow. And anyways, you’re not supposed to be in my bed.” I stand up, putting my arms up. I don’t know why I feel so courageous all of a sudden. Maybe it’s because I know what he wants, and I want it too. 

“No, but you weren’t talking to me, either.”

“I can talk to other people. You’re not the center of my universe, Snow.” I shake my head at him. 

“You can, but that’s not what you’ve been doing, Baz,” I say exasperatedly. “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague and ignoring me no matter what I do. And none of that shit about how you’re my enemy and couldn’t care less about me. I know you care, Baz. I know you visited me while I was out.” His eyes widen, his cheeks reddening. I didn’t know vampires could blush. Baz can, though. I wouldn’t be surprised if vampires  _ couldn’t  _ blush, but Baz defies all their rules. 

“So what, Snow? We’re still meant to kill each other.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want that!” He frowns. 

“That’s always been the endgame.” 

“Maybe for you, but never for me. I couldn’t kill you.” He scrunches his nose. 

“You have every right to. You said it yourself, I’m an evil monster.” 

“No, Baz. You aren’t. You’re a selfish prick, but you’re not that. You’re a nerd who’s obsessed with Greek mythology and the stars. We made a truce a while ago, and that still stands. But I don’t want it to be just a truce.” 

“What are you insinuating, Snow?” 

“I want to be  _ friends _ , and I think you do too. I don’t mean that we suddenly have to jump right into something like what me and Penny have, but I want to talk to you. I want to walk with you to meals and wave to each other in the halls. But you keep…  _ refusing _ and it’s so goddamn frustrating, Baz. Crowley, you’re frustrating.” 

“So what, friends? Just like that?”

“Yes, Baz. Can we just stop the fighting and the ignoring? I can’t ignore you, Baz. You can do a hell of a job at ignoring me, but  _ I  _ can’t. It’s driving Penny up a wall.” Baz sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

“Fine, Snow. I guess I can be your friend or whatever. But I am not following you and your gang of misfits into trouble that could get us killed.” I laugh, shaking my head. 

“Baz, you’re already part of the gang of misfits.” 

BAZ

Friends. That’s more than we’ve ever been. It’ll be harder to get over him, but I can’t say no when he’s looking at me like that, with his puppy dog blue eyes and bronze curls. Crowley, he’s a human wrecking ball and I’m a building he keeps smashing into. 

SIMON 

I make a point of walking with Baz to breakfast. I wait for him, even though he takes twice as long as I do and I can already feel the scone supply depleting. But I meant it. I want to be Baz’s friend. I don’t know why it took 7 years to finally tell him that. 

We don’t talk much on the way down. I’ve gathered from my years of living with him that Baz isn’t really a morning person. I used to slam drawers and doors just to piss him off, but I guess that’s something I could change now. Afterall, this friendship has to be a two way street. 

Breakfast is normal. Agatha seems to be acting weird, but other than that, nothing’s changed. Penny and Baz debate something we talked about in class, Dev and Niall poke fun at Baz and I join in, and Agatha adds a sarcastic comment here and there. It’s surprisingly easy how all of us kind of fell together, even though we’ve been terrorizing each other for years. Funny how me screwing up a spell helped this all happen. 

After breakfast we all head our separate ways, Dev and Niall walking off to their Latin class and me, Baz, Penny, and Agatha walking towards our classrooms together. 

Right before we head into class, Agatha asks to talk to Baz in the hall. He seems a little annoyed, but lets her lead him a little further down the hall. I glare after them as Penny tries to pull me away. 

BAZ

I knew that Wellbelove was up to something the moment I walked in that morning. She kept fidgeting and blinking up at me through her lashes, blushing when I looked her way. When she asked to speak to me, I knew it wasn’t anything good. 

“Baz. I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while, but it never seemed to be the right time.”

“Right…” I say, waiting for her to elaborate. She takes a deep breath, taking my hand. Wellbelove has very dainty fingers, long and slender and painted with white nail polish. 

“I think there’s something between us. I have for a while.”  _ God no _ . “And I was wondering, would you like to meet me for dinner out on the lawn?” 

SIMON

I glare at them, getting more and more worked up the more I look at them. I know I told Baz that he could have Agatha if she was the one he had a crush on, but I don’t like seeing them together, whispering and holding hands. They would make a good couple, though. They’re both pretty, objectively speaking, and posh enough to make everyone else feel daft in their presence. I should be happy for them. I should. 

“Simon, come on, we have to get to class.” I’m about to turn, giving in and trying to forget about Baz and Agatha and all the good looking children they’ll have. 

“ _ I think it’s so cute and I think it’s so sweet _

_ How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me _

_ But let me stop you there, oh, before you speak”  _

I walk closer to the two of them, slightly curious. Penny pulls on my arm. 

“Si, come on!” 

“Hold on! Baz is singing something.”

_ “Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no _

_ Ny name is no _

_ My sign is no _

_ My number is no _

_ You need to let it go _

_ You need to let it go _

_ Need to let it go _

_ Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no”  _

My eyes widen as Baz puts his hands on his hips, singing with an unexpected amount of sass that I’ve never seen from him. Even worse (or better, depending on who you are in this situation), he starts to dance to the music, joined by other students who seem to know some secret choreography. Agatha is standing there, completely oblivious to the show Baz is putting on, inspecting her nails as if she’s waiting for a response to something. 

_ “First you gonna say you ain’t runnin’ game, thinkin’ I’m believing every word _

_ Call me beautiful, so original, telling me I’m not like other boys _

_ I was in my zone before you came along, now I’m thinking maybe you should go _

_ Blah, blah, blah, blah _

_ I be like nah to the I, to the no, no, no”  _

I’m…. shocked. I don’t know how to interpret this song and why Baz is singing this song of all things to Agatha, but I’m starting to get a slight suspicion that he’s not into her. If that’s true, who could he possibly be singing about when he sings those love songs? 

_ “Thank you in advance, I don’t wanna dance  _

_ I don’t need your hands all over me _

_ If I want a man, then I’mma get a man _

_ But it’s never my priority _

_ I was in my zone, before you came along, don’t want you to take this personal _

_ Blah, blah, blah, I be like nag to the ah to the no, no, no” _

This dance is… something else. I don’t know if the Mage would really approve of it. 

_ “All my ladies listen up _

_ If that boy ain’t giving up _

_ Lick your lips and swing your hips _

_ Girl all you gotta say is _

_ My name is no _

_ My sign is no _

_ My number is no _

_ You need to let it go _

_ You need to let it go _

_ Need to let it go _

_ Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no”  _

Then, the song ends and I stare at the two, shocked. Somehow, Penny miraculously pulls me into our classroom before the bell rings, I don’t hear a single word the teacher says during class. 

* * *

“So you’re telling me that Agatha asked Baz out and he said no?” Penny asks, scooping food onto her plate. It’s lunchtime now, and we both got here before everyone else. I decided to use this as my chance to get my daily Baz gossip in, since Penny banned it from Magic Words. 

“I mean I don’t know that for sure, but I’m guessing that’s what happened. I mean he sang it to her, very roughly. It’s very obvious that he’s not into her.”

“I’d say it’s been obvious for a while, Si.”

“No it hasn’t. This is news, Pen!” She puts a hand on her hip, brows scrunched in thought. 

“You’re right. It is news…” She trails off. There’s more to her statement, but she doesn’t share with me. We head to our table, plates piled high with food. The rest of our group joins us soon after, Agatha avoiding eye contact with Baz and Baz pretending she isn’t there. I’m starting to get the feeling that Baz avoids his problems instead of facing them. 

All of lunch, Penny stares at Baz, scrutinizing his every move. 

PENNY

It isn’t exactly news that Baz doesn’t like Agatha, but it’s definitely proof that he’s in love with Simon Snow. Especially considering Baz has been singing love songs at him since Simon got these powers. I just need more evidence.

SIMON

Penny stands up suddenly, pushing her chair out and pointing an accusatory finger at Baz. 

_ “There! Right there!”  _ she shouts, scaring the shit out of me. 

“Penny?” I say, looking up at her. What could she possibly be on about? 

_ “Look at that tan, tell-tended skin. _

_ Look at the killer shape he's in.  _

_ Look at that slightly stubbly chin. _

_ Oh, please, he’s gay, totally gay!” _

I start to notice the music and realize: She’s singing a song. She’s singing a song about… Baz being gay? 

Agatha stands up suddenly, too, putting her hands on the table as she looks over at Penny. 

_ “I’m not about to celebrate.  _

_ Every trait could indicate. _

_ A totally straight expatriate.  _

_ That guy’s not gay, I say not gay. _ ” 

Then… well, it turns into a full musical number. At least a quarter of the mess hall stands up, starting to sing, including Penny, Agatha, Dev, and Niall. 

_ “That is the elephant in the room.  _

_ Well, is it relevant to assume. _

_ That a man who wears perfume  _

_ Is automatically, radically fey?” _

“ _ But look at his coiffed and crispy locks,”  _ Dev sings. 

_ “Look at his silk translucent socks,”  _ Niall sings back. 

_ “There’s the eternal paradox. Look what we’re seein’,”  _ Agatha whispers to them. 

_ “What are we seein’?”  _

_ “Is he gay--”  _

_ “Of course he’s gay!”  _ Penny cuts in. 

_ “Or European?”  _ Silence rings out through the dining hall. Then everyone does a collective, “ _ Oh….”  _

_ “Gay or European? _

_ It’s hard to guarantee _

_ Is he gay or European?”  _

“ _ Well, hey, don’t look at me!”  _ Dev shouts. 

_ “You see, they bring their boys up different  _

_ In those charming foreign ports _

_ They play peculiar sports _

_ In shiny shirts and tiny shorts _

_ Gay or foreign fella?  _

_ The answer could take weeks _

_ They both say things like ‘ciao bella’  _

_ While they kiss you on both cheeks.” _

_ “Oh please, _ ” Penny says, rolling her eyes. 

_ “Gay or European? _

_ So many shades of gray _

_ Depending on the time of day,  _

_ The French go either way. _

_ Is he gay or European, or--” _

Are they seriously debating over if Baz is  _ gay _ ? Of course he isn't, he can’t be. Or is he…. 

Suddenly, Kerris jumps up, walking up to our table and pointing at Baz, who’s calmly sipping his tea, not noticing everyone debating his sexuality while we eat lunch. 

_ “There! Right There!”  _ Kerris sings. 

_ “Look at that condescending smirk _

_ Seen it on every guy at work _

_ That is a metro, hetero jerk _

_ That guy’s not gay _

_ I say no way _ ” 

Kerris has a point, I’d say. Everyone else joins in, circling our table and looking critically at Baz. 

_ “That is the elephant in the room _

_ Well is it relevant to presume _

_ That a hottie in that costume _

_ Is automatically, radically….”  _

The music does this thing where it kind of cuts out a little bit, creating a bit of tension as it grows louder with each passing second. Everyone stops dancing, looking at the two of us as if expecting something. Penny and Agatha put their hands on the table, watching Baz’s every move. Which he is doing. Moving, that is. I was so distracted by the dance number, that I didn’t notice him looking at me, a soft smile on his face. 

_ “Ironically, chronically _

_ Certainly, flirtingly _

_ Genetically, medically…”  _

Baz smiles at me, his hand inches from mine. A lot of emotions flutter through my mind as my heart stutters in my chest. I move my hand, reaching towards him slightly. 

_ “Gay, officially gay!  _

_ Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay…”  _

Baz pulls his hand away and sneers at me, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes, reverting back to his cold expression. Everyone groans, throwing their arms up in frustration. 

_ “Damn it! _

_ Gay or European? _

_ So stylish and relaxed _

_ Is he gay or European? _

_ I think his chest is waxed  _

_ But they bring their boys up different there  _

_ It’s culturally diverse _

_ It’s not a fashion curse _

_ If he wears a kilt or bears a purse _

_ Gay or just exotic? _

_ I still can’t crack the code _ ” 

I find myself wanting to know the answer the more and more they sing. I always just assumed that Baz’s crush was a girl, but if it’s a guy…. That opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. It also explains why Baz refused to go on a date with Agatha and why he always rolls his eyes when she compliments him. But even if he is gay, who the hell would he have a crush on? He doesn’t really talk to people, even though he’s probably just as popular as me. I guess it could be Niall, which could be disastrous if it turns out he actually is dating Dev. 

Fuck, do they have a love triangle? 

_ “Yeah, his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy toed _ ,” Nial points out, putting a hand on his hip. 

_ “Huh.  _

_ Gay or European?  _

_ So many shades of gray” _

“ _ But if he turns out straight I’m free at eight on Saturday,”  _ Agatha says, sitting on the table and winking at Baz. He rolls his eyes, obviously not showing any interest. 

_ “Is he gay or European? _

_ Gay or European? _

_ Gay or Euro--”  _

Then…. The strangest thing happens. It’s never happened before and it throws me off guard. The song suddenly stops, as if the emotion dissipates from everyone as they return to their seats, acting as if nothing happened. I wonder what made them do that, instead of finishing the song like most people do. Sure, sometimes it’s a more abridged version, but it never just cuts out like that. That means either Penny and the other’s found their proof…. or the rest of the song doesn’t ring true. 

It’s moments like this that I wish we were still allowed phones and computers at Watford. At least then I could access the internet and maybe figure out what the hell that song is about. But before that, I have a matter that needs attending to. 

I stand up suddenly just like Penny did when she started to sing that song. This time, everyone at the table looks up at me, Baz raising an eyebrow. I grab Penny’s arm, escusing us from the table and pulling her into the hall. 

“Hey! What was that about?” Penny says, pulling her arm from mine once we’re outside of the dining hall. She crosses her arms, glaring at me. I card my hands through my curls. 

“Do you think Baz is gay?” I blurt, saying in the words in a rush. Penny stops for a moment, looking shocked, her mouth opened in an ‘o’. 

“Why? Do you want him to be?” I wave my hand, dismissing her questions (I don’t know how to answer her). 

“Penny. I heard you sing.” 

“Okay? What does any of that have to do with Baz? Crowley, Simon, not everything is about--”

“You said you thought he was gay,” I say, cutting her off. She sighs, her shoulders dipping as she gives me a sympathetic look. 

“I don’t know, Si. You said it yourself, Baz has a heck of a lot of secrets shoved up his arse, and there’s no way you’ll ever learn them all. But if he is, he’ll tell you when he’s ready. Don’t force anything from him, okay?” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t care what your history was, let Baz do this on his own.” 

I nod, knowing that I would never even imagine trying to force him to do something like that. “I know. It’s just…”

“Just what, Simon?” I bite my lip, not sure what to say. Penny puts a hand on my shoulder, pulling me into a side hug. I accept it gratefully. It roots me to the spot, giving me a moment of certainty while the world spins around me. Two months ago, I was dating Agatha and thought Baz was out to steal her from me whilist conspiring multiple murder plots. Now, I don’t know where either of us stands. I don’t know what to do with me and Baz not fighting, knowing that Baz has a crush on  _ someone  _ and they aren’t Agatha, nor do I know what to even do with the prospect of Baz Pitch being gay. I know what Penny would say if I told her.  _ What does it matter, Simon? You have your secrets too, Si, and he’s probably just as lost as you. Leave him alone for once in your life, please?  _

But I  _ can’t _ . There always seems to be a Baz shaped block in my mind, preventing me from moving on from him with his fucking  _ hair _ and  _ eyes  _ and  _ legs _ . 

It seems like with every single thing I learn about the Baz, the more I hope… for something. And I think I’m too scared to admit what that something is. 


End file.
